Glee: The Ballad of Kitty and Artie
by WildeAbrams
Summary: This is that story of how Kitty Wilde met and fell in love with Artie Abrams during her sophomore year in high school. Contains eating disorders, angst, bullying, and the following pairings: WildeAbrams, Jarley, Ryley, Wemma
1. Backstory

The Ballad of Kitty and Artie

by Wilde Abrams

Author's Notes:

Artie and Kitty are an epic couple, in the sense that their relationship was built by the writers over the period of a year before bringing them together officially on screen. How much of that was preplanned and how much of it was their writing to the characters obvious chemistry we may never know. But to we the viewers it does not really matter, because its just as enjoyable. Unfortunately, despite what Ian Brennon said in an interview, the producers chose not to keep them together after he graduated, nor did they give the characters relationship real closure. We the viewers are left to just assume that they broke up off screen. I personally don't accept that, and have been inspired to write about this amazing couple.

Glee has been criticized because the characters supposedly didn't gel as well as the original cast. I don't really agree, but if there is any truth to it, it is because of the producers tendency to come up with any excuse they could to bring back the alumni, and downplay the new cast. Often they just sat there, or in one case, several of them were completely written out of an episode ("I Do"). I'm not going to make that mistake here and the Alumni will be used only when the story really calls it (or they actually appeared in the episode). Otherwise the stories will center on the new McKisety set group.

Glee has had so many story lines that were started and then dropped inexplicably, or were not given a proper resolution. I think it's a shame that the writers seem intent on doing the same with this one, even though this one is one of the few that actually makes sense long term (Finn and Rachel, Santana and Brittany, and maybe Sam and Mercedes being the other obvious ones). You would need to be blind not to see the mutual attraction between them long before Love Love Love.

Then the producers chose to abandon the Lima cast. Kitty was seen crying at Artie's graduation. Why? Did she and Artie break up? Did she just know that they would grow apart? We don't know, so it is our duty as fanfic writers to answer them for our own enjoyment as well as that of others. I'm trying to weave some of these things together and provide some answers and resolutions. Here and there you will see things connected for other people as well.

For the record I saw Artie and Kitty happening long before the Guilty Pleasures episode and honestly I think before Dynamic Duets. On the surface they don't seem to fit, but as you look at their histories and what happened during Artie's senior year they make a lot of sense.

This is the first of three parts of my my WildeAbrams fanfic. It covers Kitty's and Artie's back stories, and tells how she and Artie met and gradually fell in love and started dating during seasons four and five of the show. It is a work in progress, but expected to be about 35 or so parts when complete. It will run until just after graduation (New Directions). The second story, In My Arms Again (Somewhere, Somehow), which is complete, was my first WildeAbrsms story, and is the goodbye for Kitty and Artie that the producers were lazy, or didn't care enough to write and film. It also serves as a bridge between the others. The third part, entitled Glee - Season 6: A New Beginning, is a multiple-part, all new, collection of stories chronicling the fictitious 6th and 7th season (Kitty and the others junior and senior years) which the producers don't care enough to do. Parts 1 and 3 are being written simultaneously so you will see additional chapters in both parts appearing on here as inspiration hits and I feel they are ready for publication.

This story will cover every major and most minor things that happened to Kitty during her sophomore year and beyond, filling in a lot of holes and attempting to answer a lot of questions. As I write this the story is not yet done but large parts are, and I have a detailed outline. If you have any suggestions or feedback pleased leave them in the comments and I will see what I can do about incorporating them.

The third part of the story is going to be mostly AU (Alternate Universe), but refer to the New York people and what they were doing to promote believability. I'm glossing over and ignoring most of Tested, because I don't find it believable.

So when you are ready, go get something to drink and settle in as we journey together back to back to the New Directions' victory at Nationals..

###

There was no doubt in her mind that Kitty Wilde was in love with Artie Abrams. As she stared deeply into his eyes, her mind went back over the roller coaster last several years, the significant time she had spent with him, and how it had changed her life .

[ Backstory: Kitty Wilde ]

Katherine Wilde was born on April 26, 1996 to Andrea and James Wilde, an evangelical Christian family. James was a powerful attorney, and Andrea was a successful realtor. Andrea was a former Miss Ohio, so appearance was something that was always stressed to Katherine as a child. She'd been entered in several beauty contests when she was young, and won a couple of them. Along with her parents, she had been active in her church from a young age and had attended Bible Camp every summer as a child, winning several awards. She took dance lessons starting at age 4, and started gymnastics at 6. She also did horseback riding until it broke her hymen.

Her parents had taught her that popularity, power, and money were necessary to succeed and prosper in life. Wherever she was, she did whatever she had to do to gain the popularity, because with it came power, and in time that would lead to wealth and success.

She was one of the most popular girls I'm her elementary school class, until sixth grade when a conflict with her best friend Julie turned all of her former friends against her. Years of cultivated relationships gone in an instant, with little or no hope of recovery. Then the bullying began, so it was decided that she would switch schools and start fresh.

This time she would be more careful and kept her friends at arms length, and careful not to trust anyone enough to give them enough information to hurt her. Her parents told her that this was necessary to prevent what had happened with Julie from happening again.

She lived this reality after her fresh start. In middle school she spent time with her classmates, but she didn't have any she really considered friends. She needed to maintain the upper hand in every relationship. None of her friends could be her equal ever again, so that she would win any conflict. People needed to want to be friends with her, she did not need to be real friends with anybody else.

After some of her previous experiences with friends, she knew how fleeting friendships could be, and how painful it could be when they ended. She wanted to avoid that feeling at all costs, so she did everything in her power to avoid getting too close to anyone. If she felt that things were crossing a line she would lash out and push them away by whatever means necessary.

Because of this, she had very few close relationships, and the few she did have were more acquaintances than friends. None of them really knew her, and those that thought they did really didn't. It was the same way with guys, so as a result she had never had a real boyfriend before, just friends and guys to manipulate and have a little fun with. As a result, Katherine lived a fairly lonely existence.

Things changed in high school. It was a whole new environment. During her freshman year Katherine Wilde had kept to herself after school a lot, observing. She was a member of all the right clubs, and paid close attention to the popular students at school, planning her move to gain popularity and power.

By the spring of her freshmen year she had hatched a plan to cease what she wanted. The most popular group at the school were the Cheerios, and in particular one Cheerio, Quinn Fabray. They were as close to school royalty as McKinley High had.

She paid extra special attention to Quinn, and began to idolize her. The more she paid attention to her the more of a mystery Quinn became. She was the on-again-off-again head Cheerio. She'd been pregnant as a sophomore by a guy who wasn't her boyfriend. She'd gone off the deep end and gotten a Ryan Seacrest tattoo. She'd dated football players. But she'd also been a members of the school glee club, also called New Directions, and dated several of its members, which didn't make any sense, because glee club members were by definition geeks. This should have sink her popularity and cool factor, but didn't. Despite everything she maintained her popularity. This made no sense to Katherine.

Katherine decided that she needed to become a member of the Cheerios, and more importantly she neede to be like Quinn..

In order to do that, Katherine had to change her image and convince Coach Sylvester to put her on the squad. At her old school she had been on the gymnastics team and she had taken dance lessons as a little girl, so once she had put in some practice and gotten back into shape, it had been a relatively simple thing to try out for and win a spot on next year's squad. Most of the prominent members were graduating so there were several open slots. She drew her long blonde hair up into a ponytail and shy, quiet, Katherine Wilde, became Kitty Wilde, the Quinn Fabray heir apparent … in more ways than she would realize at the time...

Kitty hadn't really paid much attention to the glee club, let alone specific members. But she knew that one of them was in a wheelchair and had been that he had been seen hanging out with Quinn after she had been in a car accident and temporarily lost her ability to walk, but that was about it.

The most interesting thing about them was that three of that most prominent members of the Cheerios: Quinn, Santana Lopez, and Brittany S Pierce, were also members of the glee club. With those three exceptions, the glee club was apparently nothing but a bunch of losers and she did not understand why Quinn and the others had anything to do with them. Most of the rest of the school seemed to share this view.

That all changed near the end of the year when the glee club, had won the national show choir competition. After that, everybody paid attention to them and suddenly their popularity had skyrocketed, almost, but not quite to the level of the Cheerios,

She stood in the back as the New Directions were welcomed home amid great fanfare after their win and was mystified to see people she had seen torment them in the halls with slushie facials in the past, now throw confetti at them instead. She resolved to figure out what the deal was with this club.

[ Backstory: Artie Abrams ]

Arthur "Artie" Abrams was born September 18, 1994 to John and Nancy Abrams in Lima Ohio. When he was eight years old Artie and his mother were Involved in a car accident which resulted in him being injured and being paralyzed from the legs down, and having to use a wheelchair. He had only slight use of his thigh muscles but fortunately retained his sexually functionality.

Artie's parents were divorced and he lived with his mother, although his father remained in his life and attended his school events and transported him to events as needed. Artie's mom dedicated a significant portion of her life and energy to taking care of his needs, something he felt a great debt of gratitude toward her for.

At first glance Artie seemed like a sweet quiet nerdy boy who was simply trying to get by just like everyone else. However Artie was very sensitive and could be a surprisingly defensive person when either provoked or when he was passionate about something. Although he had always tried not to let his disability defined him, at times he had little choice because of the people around him treated him.

Because of his unique challenges, he sometimes felt like an outsider and that only people with similar disabilities could truly understand him. While he had reached a point where he was comfortable with his wheelchair, there were times when he felt frustrated because of the ways that it limited him. However, he was more than just the wheelchair kid. He was an amazing friend and a key member of the new directions and had helped hold the group together on more than one occasion.

One of his talents was teaching and guiding individuals however there were times when he came off as being judgmental and bossy. Artie was instrumental in getting additional ramps added to McKinley high. When he started there was only one ramp at the entrance and now they were several throughout the building making it much more accessible to he and other future students in wheelchairs. Artie liked all kinds of music, but was particularly fond of Michael Jackson.

Artie refused to let that get in the way one of his ambitions, for example he was a member of the football team for part of his freshman year, and he was a founding member of the Glee Club entitled The New Directions which he joined with his best friend Tina Cohen Chang. He was also a member of the McKinley High Jazz Ensemble in which she played the guitar.

Artie was an amazing singer and performer, however his true passion was directing movies which he has wanted to do since he was very young. His dream was to attend film school after he graduated from high school. During his junior year Artie was the student director of McKinley high production of West side story and directed a Christmas special starring members of the glee club for local TV station.

For a time he also dreamed of a cure for his disability, and the day when he would be able to get his ability to walk back and actually dance again, however the reality of such a thing eventually set in and he resolved to making peace with the fact he was in his chair, possibly for the rest of his life.

The first girl that Artie dated was his friend Tina Cohen-Chang, however he ended that shortly after they shared their first kiss and he found out that the stutter that she had was fake. The two of them did date again sometime later but that also ended during the summer between their freshman and sophomore years when Tina fell in love with someone else. He also dated Brittany S Pierce for a time during his sophomore year and it was Britney who took his virginity, in an attempt to help him get over his feelings for Tina. Sadly this was a very traumatic experience for him and did not mean very much to her because he was one of many sexual partners for her. They continue to date for part of that year and experience a brief pregnancy scare. Their relationship ended after it became apparent that Britney was cheating on him with Santana although she did not believe it to be cheating at the time because Santana was a woman. During his junior year, Artie had it on-again off-again relationship with glee club member Sugar Motta, but they were never that serious. He also went on a single date with Becky Jackson a classmate with down syndrome who was also on the Cheerios and has a hard time accepting that while he enjoyed their time together, he saw her more of a friend.

As a member of the 2012 High School National Show Choir Champions, The New Directions, Artie along with the other glee club members achieved a newfound popularity going into his senior year. He could now be seen having lunch with Cheerios being interviewed by Joseph Ben Israel and his days of getting a slushy in the face appeared to be over.


	2. Chapter One: The New Rachel (4x01)

[ The New Rachel ]

*** Monday ***

The first day of school, Kitty put her plans in motion. She had secured her position as a prominent member of the Cheerios, but there were two other popular groups at the school: the Titan football team and the glee club. She was determined to make sure she was one of the most popular girls in school by making sure that members of both groups were members of her crew. Because she was a hot cheerleader this was a simple matter.

First she approached two of the most prominent members of the football team: Phillip "Phil" Lipoff who was black, and Robert "Bobby" "Boom Boom" Surette who was white to be members of her lunch crew which also consisted of Cheerios.

Next up was the Glee Club. Normally there was no way that cheerleaders and a glee club would unite, given the vast differences in the makeups of the groups, but but in this case both were national champions in their respective activities, which gave them certain bragging rights!

She's begun surveilling the glee club members the previous spring and over the summer to determine who were the best ones to approach were. They did not seem to have an actual leader anymore now that Quinn, that annoying Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, and the other seniors had graduated. Normally she would approach Brittany because she was on the Cheerios with her, but she was dumb as sand, and she was afraid that the message would not get through to the others as intended.

The Asian girl and the handsome gay guy both acted like they were in charge, but as she watched the group interact, there was one person she noticed they all seemed to respect: the guy in the wheelchair. An unlikely choice, given that he was probably only allowed in the group because of equal opportunity rules (how could he even dance? Weren't they afraid he would run over their feet on stage?) , but clearly the best one. Some quick research for an article about their nationals win and she found out his name was Artie Abrams.

She made her move after she saw him at his locker after second period. "Hello, Artie," she introduced herself, "I don't know if we've ever met but I'm-"

"-Kitty Wilde, a sophomore, one of the new cheerleaders, and one of Coach Sue's favorites," he finished for her. "And, no, we've never met, but I've obviously heard of you and seen you around."

She was taken aback by his assertiveness. Maybe he wasn't as much of a pushover as she expected him to be? Maybe it would be easier to overlook the chair then she thought?

"Well I'm glad we are correcting that oversight," she responded without missing a best. "I was thinking that the popular people should stick together, and wanted to extend an invitation to you and the other glee club members to eat lunch with my crew and I from now on. We're both national champions and winners should stick together."

"That would be awesome, yo!" He told her. "I couldn't agree more."

She smiled and told him, "Good, then I'll see you there." And with that she turned and walked off.

Mission accomplished.

Artie sat there for a moment, considering what had just happened. One of the most beautiful women in the school had just come up and talked to him, and not to ask directions or something mundane. She had known exactly who he was and chose to talk to him of her own volition, and she actually wanted to spend MORE time with him.

Just then Tina and Sam approached. "What was that about?" Tina wanted to know.

"We've been invited to eat lunch with the popular group." He told her.

They all smiled.

This National Championship thing was really beginning to pay off.

Later that morning, Kitty was standing outside Coach Sue's office just as she was introducing a McKinley alum to her infant daughter Robin who was cooing in her arms. "Porcelain this is my daughter Robin. I've loved the name ever since I was a little girl. It recalls hope and springtime...and my favorite dead Bee Gee." The baby continued to cool in her arms. "Oh, she's the love of my life. And I'm so devoted to her," Sue said in baby talk. She kissed her daughter on the forehead and put you down in her stroller.

"Kitty get in here!" Sue Hollered.

Kitty marched into the room and said, "Yes the coach Sylvester."

"I needed you to change Robin's diaper and then sing her a lullaby." She then looked down at her daughter, "preferably something not yet butchered by the glee club. Good luck finding one," she added, looking up the Kitty.

Sue stood up straight and said, "Porcelain this is Kitty. Kitty is my new head bitch." She walked over to get the child. "She's like a young Quinn Fabray, except she's not pregnant, manic-depressive, or in and out of wheelchair."

As she rolled the stroller out of the room Kitty turned and said, "Shouldn't you be in college or something? I thought gay people were all successful overachievers."

She then continued out of the office.

"I am successful," Porcelain answered her.

"Oh don't pay any attention what Kitty thinks," Sue chided him, "even if it's exactly what the rest of the world thinks.

"I'm actually very proud of you, Twinkletush. You are real trailblazer." She walked around behind her desk and sat down. "You know, it used to be just straight ex-football players would lurk the halls of high school after graduation. But you've proven that gay ex-show choir champs can also be depressive sad sacks desperately clinging to the past."

"I'm not a sadsack okay? My classes at Allen County Community College start next week-" he responded.

"-I'm sorry. I tuned out the moment you opened your mouth. Keep livin' the dream Porcelain.

From her position outside the office Kitty smiled. She was really beginning to like Coach Sylvester.

That day Artie, Tina, and the others entered the cafeteria and picked up their lunch trays.

From the corner of his eye, Artie saw Kitty and some of the other cheerleaders and jocks sitting at the popular table. True to her word, Kitty waved at them to come join her group when she saw them.

Once everyone had a tray, they made their way over to the table Kitty and the others were at. It was the same table Quinn, Finn, Puck, and Mike used to sit at when they were considered popular.

"Hi, Artie," Kitty said with a smile, "glad you made it."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Kitty," he told her.

To the others she said, "Hello and welcome to our crew, these are my friends Bobby, Phil, Suzanne, and Jordan."

Each of them greeted them with a "Hey" or "Hi"

Artie introduce the New Directions members on turn, "This is Tina, Blaine, Sam, Sugar, and Joe. And I think you all know Brittany."

They all greeted each other and sat down.

"So Attire," Kitty said, "now that so many of your group has graduated, what do you think your chances are of winning nationals again?"

"We still have a lot of good singers in the group, and we'll be having auditions this Friday to recruit some new members. We've had a lot of interest in joining since last spring. Hopefully we will have enough good candidates that we will be able to pick and choose the best of the best."

"Do you really think you'll get that many people wanting to join your dweeb club, " Phil asked.

Kitty shot him a dirty look.

Artie ignored the rude comment and simply said, "we're not anticipating any problems."

Blaine and Tina looked at each other.

In the hallway at William McKinley High, Jacob Ben Israel walked down the hallway with his microphone and camera updating his video blog for the new year.

"What's up blogosphere? Jacob and Israel here back on the street with an exclusive look at McKinley's newest celebrities the New Directions."

Walks up to Artie who's by his locker and says, "Artie Abrams lunchroom sources tell me you've been seen sitting with Cheerios."

"Well I'm usually seen sitting," Artie said. "But yes; and can I tell you it's great finally being popular. National champs baby! Whoo!" he said to the camera, giving a passer by a high five.

He walked over to Sam who is surrounded by girls getting his autograph.

"Sam Evans - from hobo stripper to Glee Club celebrity. How does it feel?"

"Awesome and about time," Sam answered

He then approached Tina Cohen-Chang who said, "I never thought I would have a freshman for a personal assistant."

The camera panned to show Dottie Kazatori offering Tina a banana. She took it scoffing and said, "This isn't organic," and threw on the ground.

"Wow. See you next Tina," Jacob said.

Over by Sam a girl said, "Do Taylor Lautner again," excitedly.

He then did an imitation of Taylor Lautner from Twilight movies, "Bella I love you and I'm a werewolf."

The Girls squealed.

Jacob placed his hand over Tina's shoulder and asked, "Is it true you broke up with Mike Chang a week after tattooing Mike Chang 4ever on your hip because the long-distance thing was too hard?"

She moved out of his grasp and said, "Um, yeah. I still love him and we're still friends, and I change the tattoo to 'make change 4ever.' Change is good."

In the choir room he approaches Blaine, Brittany, Artie, and Tina all standing off to the side looking at the nationals trophy and some pictures.

"Face it. Rachel Berry was the group's undisputed star. So really the only question is - which one of you is the new Rachel? Well?

All smiled and said, "I am."

Arties got the 'oh, no' look.

"Glee!," Mr. Schue said with joy as he entered the choir room for the first Glee Club rehearsal of the year.

Artie, and the remaining members of the new directions Sam, Britney Tina, Joe, Blaine, and Sugar all cheered.

"We are coming off of a national championship, but it's time to look forward. And thanks to Glee now being the coolest club in the school-"

"-Whoop-!"

"-Hey-o!-"

"-this shouldn't be a problem-"

"-Alright. Whoa. Whoa!-"

They enthusiastically applauded.

"Yes, we've lost some big voices. But we still have some huge ones in here. And I promised to do everything I can to replace the ones that we lost. And on that note I'd like to introduce you to our newest member -"

Blaime and Tina shared an uneasy look.

"- the M.V.P. Of last year's nationals, Wade "Unique" Adams."

The group cheered however they were not very enthusiastic..

"That's a great haircut Mercedes, I thought you graduated," Brittney said. Artie looked up at her and gave her a what she was talking about look.

"I wanted to be somewhere where different was celebrated," Unique, told them.

"We are so excited to have you," Mr. Schue said.

There was more clapping this time, just from Joe and Sugar, the rest were even less enthusiastic before.

This time Mr. Schue seem to notice. "Guy's where's the love?"

"I think Wade is great, but the competition to be the new Rachel is already so intense. The last thing we need is one more in contender. "

"The new Rachel?" asked surprised.

"Every Glee Club needs a star performer," Tina told him. "Rachel was that and now that she's gone many of us want the job."

"Okay," Mr. Schu chided her, "We don't win with stars. We win as a team; one that supports new members."

They All looked back at him in surprise.

"Now, I don't want to hear anymore of this 'new Rachel' stuff, okay? Have a seat, Wade."

Wade set down next to Blaine and said quietly, "Make no mistake, Unique will be the new Rachel."

Brittany and Tina leaned in and will Blaine said, "We decide this on our own then, ThunderDome style. 5:00 in the auditorium. "

That afternoon the four candidates for the new Rachel met with Artie in the auditorium.

"So," Tina said, "here are the rules. We perform the song for Artie, and he makes his choice. We go to Mr. Schue as a group and tell him who the new lead soloist it. Hopefully it'll be me because that's what Rachel wanted."

"Although," Artie said, "I am uncomfortable doing this behind Mr. Schue's back, I am a director. Therefore, I never pass up on opportunity to judge people."

"What song are we singing?" Wade asked.

"What Rachel would sing if she were here," Tina informed her. "The song of the summer, 'Call Me Maybe."

"Yes," Brittany said excitedly.

"Do you need time to prepare?" Tina asked.

"I can sing any song any time," Wade informed her. "just press 'play' and get back."

The music began to play and they began to sing the song made famous by Carly Rae Jepsen.

Unique:

I threw a wish in the well,

Don't ask me, I'll never tell

I looked to you as it fell,

And now you're in my way.

Blaine:

I'd trade my soul for a wish,

Pennies and dimes for a kiss

I wasn't looking for this,

But now you're in my way.

Tina with Unique:

Your stare was holdin',

Ripped jeans, skin was showin'

Hot night, wind was blowin'

Tina:

Where you think you're going, baby?

Brittany:

Hey, I just met you

And this is crazy

But here's my number

So call me, maybe?

Tina:

It's hard to look right

At you baby

But here's my number

So call me, maybe?

Unique with Blaine:

Hey! I just met you

And this is crazy

But here's my number

So call me, maybe?

Brittany with Tina:

And all the other boys

Try to chase me

Blaine, Brittany, Tina, and Unique:

But here's my number,

So call me, maybe?

Blaine with Brittany:

You took your time with the call

I took no time with the fall

You gave me nothing at all

But still, you're in my way

I beg and borrow and steal

Had foresight and it's real

I didn't know I would feel it

But it's in my way

Tina with Unique:

Your stare was holdin',

Ripped jeans, skin was showin'

Hot night, wind was blowin'

Tina:

Where you think you're going, baby?

Brittany (Unique):

Hey, I just met you (Ooh yeah!)

And this is crazy (Crazy!)

But here's my number

So call me, maybe? (Call me, yeah!)

Tina:

It's hard to look right

At you baby (Unique: Baby!)

But here's my number

So call me, maybe?

Unique with Blaine:

Hey! I just met you

And this is crazy

But here's my number

So call me, maybe?

Brittany with Tina:

And all the other boys

Try to chase me

Blaine, Brittany, Tina, and Unique:

But here's my number

So call me, maybe?

Brittany with Blaine:

Before you came into my life

I missed you so bad

I missed you so bad

I missed you so, so bad

Unique with Tina:

Before you came into my life

I missed you so bad

And you should know that

I missed you so, so bad

Tina:

It's hard to look right, (Blaine: Hard to look right)

At you baby, (Brittany: At you baby!)

But here's my number, (Brittany: Yeah, yeah, yeah!)

Unique with Blaine and Tina:

So call me, maybe? (Unique: Yeah, yeah, yeah!)

Brittany:

Hey, I just met you

And this is crazy (Tina: Crazy!) (Blaine: Yeah)

But here's my number (Tina: Maybe!)

So call me, maybe? (Blaine: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)

Brittany with Tina:

(Unique: And all the other boys!) And all the other boys

(Unique: Try to chase me!) Try to chase me (Unique: Oh yeaah!) (Blaine: Try to chase me!)

But here's my number

So call me, maybe? (Blaine: Call me!)

Brittany with Blaine:

Before you came into my life (Tina: Before you came into my life!) (Unique: Oh oh!)

I missed you so bad (Tina: I missed you so so bad!)

I missed you so bad (Tina: So bad!)

I missed you so, so bad (Unique: So bad!)

Unique with Tina:

Before you came into my life (Blaine: Before you!) (Brittany: Oh, yeah!)

I missed you so bad (Brittany: So bad!)

You should know that (Blaine and Brittany: Yeah!)

Blaine, Brittany, Tina, and Unique:

So call me maybe?

Throughout the performance Artie eyed them critically paying very close attention to each performers strengths and weaknesses.

When it was over, a breathless Blaine asked, "So, Artie, who's the new Rachel?"

He eyed them, and told them that he needed some time to consider.

That day after school Kitty was at the Lima Bean with some friends, including Phil and Bobby from the football team, and Suzanne and Jordan from the Cheerios, when she noticed that "Porcelain" was working as a Barista. She thought that it was hilarious and decided that she needed to mess with him.

She glanced across the room and saw that he was socializing with some of his glee club friends who were there as customers. He had just sat down when she raised her hand and snapped her fingers and obnoxiously said, "Excuse me, garçon?"

He reluctantly turned away from his friends, stood and scampered over toward her.

"My iced latte's too cold." She told him matter-of-factly

"It's an iced latte," he said. Not seeing the problem.

"It's an iced latte that's too cold. I'm going to need you to make me a new one."

Her Friends chuckled.

"Hello?" One of the other customers said

"Hey! Kurt!" the manager at the desk said. "You have to refill the biscotti barrel every 15 minutes." He open the lid showing that it was empty.

So his real name was Kurt, she noted..

"Coming," Kurt said to his boss.

Kurt turned his head and watched as the club members got up and left gesturing that they would call him later.

"-and I'll be right back with your latte," he said to Kitty.

Kitty smiled her evil grin and her friends did the same and laughed.

*** Tuesday ***

Artie sat with the usual group the next day in the cafeteria. The others were beginning to lose patience will him and wanted to know his choice was.

"You had enough time," Tina said. "So who is it?"

"You can't rush the casting process. My genius needs it's dreamtime."

Just then a tall thin brunette walked by and stopped.

"You guys are the Glee Club right?" she asked. "Hi. I'm going to try out. I'm a sophomore my name is Marley. "

Tina turned and gave her a big fake smile and said, "Great. Well, lots of competition, so good luck to you."

Marley smiled and walked away, and Sam checked out her ass.

Then Wade, in full make up, came over and join them and said, "Unique offers her greetings and salutations."

"You can't wear that make up stuff in here," Sam told her. "You have to know how this stuff works. It's like Game of Thrones."

"Yeah," Artie added, "the peace between us and the truly popular kids is weak. Winter is coming. It's not going to take much for us to get smacked down to the bottom again."

"Maybe you should just save unique for performances?" Blane suggestion, "and be Wade the rest of the time."

"A-All right, " Wade relented, clearly disappointed. "I'll go take off my face."

He rose and left.

Kitty watched from a few yards away as the freak known as Unique approached the other glee club members sitting at the popular table. This could be trouble. No matter how popular the glee club had become, there was no way that school population would accept a transexual as part of the cool group. She was just thinking that she was going to have to say something to Artie, when he, Blaine and Joe discouraged him from wearing makeup in public. From Artie's statement she could tell that he understood what was at stake. He was clearly more perceptive than she'd initially thought.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Phil and Bobby appeared at her side. Hopefully they hasn't seen Unique.

Unique had just left the room when Artir noticed Kitty, Phil, and Bobby, approach. They walked up and sat in the spot vacated by Unique.

"Hey, Glee people," she said

"Hey, Kitty," Artie greeted her.

"Hey," Phil said, "have you guys seen the new lunch lady?"

Blaine looked over his shoulders and saw an overweight lunchroom lady cleaning a condiments cart.

"She's so fat they took pictures of her last Christmas. Still printing."

"Hey, she has to wear a watch on both wrists because she covers two time zones," Bobbie added.

They laughed making Arrie and several of the others very uncomfortable and he looked down at this tray.

"Well maybe she has like a medical condition Britney suggested. Or she swallowed somebody with a medical condition."

Phil, Bobby, and Kitty all laughed at that is if it was meant as a joke.

"Right, Artie,"? Bobbie asked..

Everyone look at Artie who glanced up and sat there for a moment like a deer in headlights. The popular kids expecting him to join that fun. The glee members uneasily awaiting what he might say. He glanced at the lunch lady and then back at the group. Kitty met his gaze as if to say, "come on."

After another awkward moment he put on a fake smile and said, "When she sits around the house she really sits around the house."

Everybody laughed. Kitty smiled, Bobby said, "Attaboy!" The other kids cheered him on.

Inside Artie didn't feel so good about himself.

*** Wednesday ***

Phil approached Kitty before lunch.

"I don't understand why you've invited those glee club freaks to have lunch with us. The guys have already started talking about that Unique person. It freaks us all out to see that in the locker room. Everyone's convinced it's gay and checking us out." He told her.

"Wade/Unique joined their group after I extended the invitation to the glee club. But he's already become a source of conflict among them. Trust me, Unique will part ways with the Glee club. I give it a week at most."

"It better, or I'll be forced to take matters into my own hands," he told her.

She suddenly turned and got very forceful, "You will follow MY lead on this, and do nothing unless I specifically tell you too, unless you want to find yourself on the outside as well."

He stormed off.

She took a deep breath.

As she entered the cafeteria, she grabbed her tray of food and walked over to their usual table.

"Hi, Artie."

"Hi, Kitty."

*** Thursday ***

Thursday after school, Kitty came home and was greeted by her parents.

"How was school, sweetie?" Her mom wanted to know.

"Good," Kitry answered, "so far my plans are gooimg as well expected. I've got members of all of the popular groups in my lunch crew."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Kitty told her, "the Cheerios, the Titan football players, and that New Directions,"

She noded approvingly at the first two and then asked, "New directions?"

"Oh," Kitty explained, "they're the school singing group-"

"-You mean the Glee Club?" Her dad asked, joining the conversation. "Oh,Kitty, you should kmow better than that."

"The New Direcions are Nariomal Champioms like the Cheeroos, and extremely popular at school," she defended her decision to have therm in her crew.

"National Champion losses are still loosers," he told her, "and that kind of popularity is never permanent."

Her mom put her hand on her daughter's shoulder, "We're just worried about you sweetie, remember what happened at you're other school?"

Kitty got rigid for a moment. "That is something I will never forget," she told therm. How could she?

"Glee Club is by definition a looser club," her dad cautioned her. "We strongly recommend you avoid any strategy that includes them."

He walked out of the room.

"We're just looking out for your best interest," her mom reassured her. "Just think about it," she suggested on her way out of the room leaving Kitty alone with her thoughts.

She rolled her eyes and went into her room to do her homework and think.

*** Friday ***

Friday at lunch, Porcelain was sitting with that other glee club members. Kitty noticed that most of them were in a particularly good mood and asked about it.

"Glee Club auditions are this afternoon," Porcelain answered her matter-of-factly, "hopefully we will manage to find some powerhouses to replaced the ones we've lost, so we can win nationals again this year."

"Didn't you already graduate?" She asked him, "why are you even still here?"

Kurt opened his mout and was a about to say something snarky in response when Arrtie, interrupted. "You should try out Kitty?"

Our of the corner of her eye, she could see that Phil and Bobby thought the idea was hilarious.

"I bet you're a great singer," he finished.

But Kitty wasn't going to give the football players the satisfaction of seeing her react.

"That's not exactly my style," she told him with a fake smile. Truth be told she was an amazing singer, but she wouldn't be caught dead in glee club weather her parents objected or not.

Friday afternoon in the auditorium, Artit, Mr. Schue, the other existing glee club members, and Kurt gathered for glee club auditions.

"Okay, let's get started," Mr. Schou said.

Kurt turned on a camcorder.

"And remember," Kurt said, "were looking for superstars."

First up was Stoner Brett who rapped. Then De'Wanda Umber just dance to a techno song with no words at all. There were numerous other candidates each worse than the one before.

Next up was a half black half white guy with one name.

"Hello! sir." Mr. Schou said "What's your name? "

"Jake," he answered.

"Got a last name Jake?"

"Uh, just Jake."

"Okay. Um, well, show us what you've got, Just Jake." Will Said with a smile.

He launched into a beautifully performed rendition of "Never Say Never" by The Fray.

Sugar thought he was sexy. Sam disagreed, but Unique agreed with Sugar. Everyone could see that he was talented.

It looked like they had their first new member until they saw how he reacted when Mr. Schue cut him off halfway through the song.

"Okay, Jack thank you."

The music stopped abruptly.

"Don't I get to finish?" Jake asked with surprise.

"We got a lot of people to see," Mr. Schue told him.

"I've been practicing."

"We've seen enough thank you."

He walked over to one of the musicians and forcibly knocked over her music stand in anger.

"That's rude and unacceptable," Kurt said

Artie liked his passion, but it was clearly misdirected.

"I'll handle this," Mr. Schue said raising to his feet saying, "Jake, come on man. Why don't you pick up the music stand?"

Jake's scoffed and walked off stage.

Mr. Schue sat down and Kurt hollered, "next."

Next up was the brunette that they had met the at much earlier that week.

"Okay, my name is Marley Rose, and I'll be singing New York State of Mind Billy Joel.

Some folks like to get away

For a holiday from the neighborhood

Hop a flight to Miami Beach

Or to Hollywood, ooh ooh

But I'm taking a Greyhound

On the Hudson River Line

I'm in a New York state of mind

Ooh, It was so easy living day by day

Out of touch with the rhythm and the blues

But now I need a little give and take

The New York Times,

The Daily News

Oh, It comes down to reality

And it's fine with me

'cause I've let it slide

Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside, ooh ooh

I don't have any reasons

I've left them all behind

I'm in a New York state of

Mind!

Oh!

I'm just taking a Greyhound

On the Hudson River Line

'Cause I'm in

I'm in a New York

state of Mind

Ooh

Oh

New York

State

Of mind

The song was performed amazingly. Her performance was filled with passion and soul and beauty.

When it was over she got around of applause.

"Thank you. Thank You," Mr. Schou said.

Artie applauded loudly and had a big smile on his face. Maybe they would find some new members after all?

To the group Mr Schue chuckled and said, "Wow. That's what I call star quality. What do you guys think?"

"Ten," Sugar said.

"She's good. She's good," Blaine answered uneasily.

Unique and Tina looked at each other uneasily.

*** Monday ***

Monday morning Mr. Schue posted the results of the auditions

NEW DIRECTIONS

2012-2013

Artie Abrams

Wade "Unique" Adams

Blaine Anderson

Tina Cohen-Chang

Sam Evans

Joe Hart

Sugar Motta

Brittany S. Pierce

Marley Rose

Of 23 auditions only one new member was added.

Blaine and Tina walked into the choir room as Kurt was organizing sheet music on the floor.

"Um, what's this?" Blaine asked.

"Organizing all the sheet music," he answered matter-of-factly.

At the same time, Artie rolled in from the other door and stopped just short of where the music was laid out.

"Artie, go around, not over it," Kurt told him bluntly.

Artie gave him a glare and turned to go around.

Just then Dottie arrived and handed Tina a dessert.

"Thanks Dottie," she told her, "you're dismissed for the day."

Tina turned and handed to Artie. "This is for you. And no it's not a bribe because we all know Rachel told me herself I'm the new Rachel."

Artie lowered his head. He had stalled as long as he could, and wasn't looking forward to this conversation. He was interrupted mid thought by Unique's entrance. Maybe if arrived soon enough, he could stall some more.

"MVP in the house," Unique said entering the room wearing a blouse, skirt, nylons, and makeup.

"Bro," Joe told him, "I thought we agreed you'd only wear that stuff onstage-"

"It's wrong with you guys?" Kurt asked. "This club is about diversity and acceptance. Or at least used to be. And another thing, since when did everyone become so obsessed about who's the biggest star?"

"Since Day one," Tina said. "You and Rachel fought over solos for three years."

She turned to Artie putting him back on the hot seat. "No more stalling already who's the new Rachel?"

"Yeah, who is it?" Sugar wanted to know.

"Tell us," Brittany said.

The candidates all gathered around him surrounding him.

Artie glanced at the door, still no Mr. Schue. He took a deep breath.

"After meticulous deliberation, and an online poll... " he rolled out of the center of the group.

"The new Rachel is...Blaine. -"

"-How?" Tina demanded.

"Brittany, you were a close second."

"-I came in third?-" Tina asked in disbelief

"-let's not worry about third and fourth place." He told her.

"And we don't need to talk about this either," she said taking the delicious looking dessert out of his hand. He signed.

Unique leaned over and asked, "Why do you hate strong Brack Black women for?"

"I don't" he answered softly

The commotion was interrupted when Mr. Schue walked into the room leading Marley.

"Guys, this young lady gave hands-down one of the best auditions I have ever seen. Let's give it up for our newest member Marley Rose."

Everyone applauded and cheered enthusiastically except Tina and Unique who stood there sulking.

"Marley," Blaine said, awkwardly assuming the mantle of leadership, "on behalf of all the New Directions, um, welcome."

"Thank you," she said. "I'm really excited to be here."

"I really like your sweater, where did you get it?" Sugar asked.

"Oh thanks," she answered them down at her top, "Um, "

Sugar look at her surprised clearly knowing better, "Really?

After glee rehearsal Tina cornered Artir by his locker. "I didn't even make runner up?"

"Tina, it's not personal."

"We've been friends since we were little, I thought I knew you-"

"-If you really knew me, you'd know that I take my craft very seriously. And if you're my friend, you'll respect me for it."

Tina pouted.

Artie was about to say something comforting so she would stop and think and he could escape, when Kitty saved him from it.

"Are you ready to go?" Kitty said to him as she approached.

"Really, Artie," Tina said to him. "Now you're hanging out with her after school too?" She scoffed and stormed off.

"What's HER problem?" Kitty asked.

"She's just mad because she's not the New Rachel." Artie told her matter-of-factly. "Shall we go?"

"The new what?"

"Long story."

Kitty and Artie sat side by side in the audio visual room so he could show her the video of their nationals win.

"So, unfortunately I didn't film the raw footage of this, but I did edit this together." He told her, mid went on to explain the camera shots used, along with the split screen, superimposed text, and other editing effects he'd utilized to make the footage interesting. .

She could see how passionate he was about it, snd how much work he had put into the edits snd transitions by the way he explained it. He was clearly talented.

As she began to watch that video he was drawn info it. She could see how much the New Directions had enjoyed performing their numbers, and the care they had apparently taken to make sure Artie was fully integrated into the performsnce. He we'd never just there as she'd always assumed. He always had a danced parent or had a special part just for him. That group sounded awesome, and she was supeised by how strong a singer Artie was.

As that performance finished, she turned toward him and said, "think you for sharing this with me."

"No problem," he beamed.

*** Tuesday ***

Tuesday lunch new directions and Cheerios for eating lunch together again. Artie quietly ate his lunch while his friends talked, trying to stay under the radar.

"Brittany, I'm sorry, but I won fair and square." Blaine told her. "You can't just decide not to sing anymore. We all need your voice."

"I had a song in my heart Blaine Warbler, and you killed it. Now I have a dead song in my heart. Pretty soon the corpse of my dead heart song is going to start to smell."

Kitty who was listening to this couldn't stand it anymore and decided to change the subject.

"Okay, guys, since we can't do a popularity homecoming float with all white people I say we should do one all-white chrysanthemums."

"That's a good idea," Brittney said.

This comment made Tina and Artie who were't talking to each other shared a look.

"If we need a float why don't we just all ride her," Phil suggested, gesturing to the overweight lunch lady. Clearly he wantred to distract from the fact that he was a member of her group and black. The warning Kitty had given him the other day ringing in his head.

"Look at her boobs," sugar said, "it's like two grocery bags full of soup."

All of the popular students laughed

"That's really mean?" Marley chided her

"Excuse me" Kitty said laughing

"You don't know her you don't know what her life is like."

"So? Why do you care?" Kitty wanted to know.

"Because she's my mom," Marley answered

Kitty's expression showed disbelief and suddenly the glee club members became very uncomfortable.

"I thought you guys were different," Marley said as she rose and left the group.

Glee club members continue to sit there uncomfortably.

After lunch Kitty was engrossed in her thoughts about the most recent development when Bobbie approached her. "See, I told you it was a mistake to let them into our group." He told her.

"Don't you mean my group?" She asked condescendingly.

"Hey the football team is just as cool as the Cheerios."

"Really?" She told him. "Which one of us has a track record of national championships going back years? That would be us. Which of us is on ESPN every year? That would also be us too. Who has a hard time even winning more games than they lose in a season, and hasn't even been to state in over 10 years? Oh that's right, that would be you. The football team is cool only because we allow them to be.

"Now, I will handle the glee club, and I will let you know when your input is welcome or requested."

Kitty really didn't want to sever ties with the glee club, but had to admit to herself that she was concerned about the most recent developments. She could allow that defiance, and this Unique freak just wouldn't fit I'm with her crew.

Later that afternoon Sam walked up to Marley at her locker.

"Hey, Marley. Um, I just wanted to apologize for all of us, and beg you not to quit.

"Look, I get you. Like, for instance, I know that that sweater is from Walmart and your mom sewed the label into it."

"How do you know that?" she wanted to know

"Because my mom used to do the same thing for me. The best thing about glee club is it's not about labels. If you can sing, or if you can dance, you belong. and dude you can sing."

"I don't know," she said, "you say that, but the way you were making fun of my mom, I- something doesn't feel right" she said closing locker.

Suddenly the rest of the Glee Club was al together behind her,

"We came to apologize," Artie said

"I think being popular felt a little too good," Tina added, "and we forgot ourselves."

"Well I didn't I was always popular," Brittney said, "but I do forget to wear underwear sometimes."

"The best part about Glee Club is it everyone gets to be a star," Blaine said. "'Which is why were all hoping that you could come and rehearse with us this afternoon and maybe sing lead vocal one of the songs were working on. "

"And if words don't convince you, let the majesty and mystery of Unique's fabulousness be enough," Unique who was once again in a blouse skirt, nylons and makeup added.

Several people chuckled Unique and sugar high-fived her.

She walked up and stood next to Marley. "I mean it. Glee clubs a special place. I mean where else could I dress like this and be welcomed with open arms?"

Marley relented.

"Okay one last thing," Marley said. "I don't think I'm comfortable with sitting with a cheerleader and those guys at lunch."

"That won't be a problem," kitty said walking up to them flanked by Bobby and Phil. "we could handle Gimpy and Tarantula Head-"

Artie and Joe shared a look.

"-and Richie Poor, because you guys were national champs like us. But our invitation was not extended to pre-op Precious based on the novel Barf by Sapphire, and Mike and Molly's daughter as part of our crew."

"Well," Blaine said, "I guess for not in your crew anymore."

"You know," she answered, "I was kind of hoping you'd say that."

Phil and Bobby pulled slushy out from behind their backs and nailed Marley and Unique square in the face."

Unique gasped.

Kitty, Bobby, and Phil smiled.

"And with that," Phil said, "Order has been restored."

Kitty turned and walked off and Phil and Bobbie followed right after giving themselves a fancy hand shake.

"Well," Artie said, "looks like you guys have been officially welcomed to the glee club."

"Unique's eyes they are on fire," Unique said.

"Let's get you guys cleaned up and go to rehearsal," Blaine said.

Kitty watched the conversation at Marley's locker with disappointment. She has hoped that she would be able to incorporate the glee club into her social circle. She would never admit it, but she had started to like spending time with some of the glee club members, especially Artie.

Unfortunately that didn't seem possible with their intent on embracing the freaks.

She siged, and spoke to Bobby and Phil, "Okay, it looks like they've made their choice. We proceed as discussed." She grabbed Phil's arm, "Remember what I said before."

He nodded. "Don't worry I won't touch the gimp. Just the newbies."

"See that you don't. We don't need the entire school against us."

Later that afternoon in the auditorium the new directions sang Chasing Pavement, by Adele

Marley:

I've made up my mind

Don't need to think it over

If I'm wrong I am right

Don't need to look no further

This ain't lust

I know this is love but,

If I tell the world,

I'll never say enough,

'Cause it was not said to you,

And that's exactly what I need to do,

If I end up with you

Marley with New Directions (New Directions):

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere? (Nowhere)

Or would it be a waste?

Marley (with New Directions):

Even (if I knew my place?)

Should I leave it there? (New Directions: Ohhh!)

Marley with New Directions:

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Marley (New Directions):

Even if it,

Leads nowhere (Oooo...)

Marley with New Directions harmonizing:

I'd build myself up,

And fly around in circles,

Wait then as my heart drops,

And my back begins to tingle

Finally could this be it, or,

Marley with New Directions (New Directions):

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere? (Leads nowhere)

Or would it be a waste?

Marley (with New Directions):

Even (if I knew my place?)

Should I leave it there? (New Directions: Ohhh!)

Marley with New Directions:

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Marley (New Directions):

Even if it,

Leads nowhere (Oooo...)

Yeah..

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere?

Or would it be a waste? (Would it be a waste?)

Even if I knew my place? (If I knew my place?)

Should I leave it there? (Should I leave it there?)

Should I give up, (Should I...)

Or should I just (Keep on) keep on (Chasing) chasing (Pavements) pavements?

Should I just (Keep on, chasing) chasing (Pavements) pavements?

Oh! Oh-oh-oh, Oh-oooooh

New Directions (Marley):

Should I give up,

Or should I just keep chasing pavements, (Pavements!)

Even if it leads nowhere? (Even if I, oh!)

Marley with New Directions:

Or would it be a waste,

If I knew my place?

Marley (New Directions):

Should I leave it there? (Ohhh)

New Directions (Marley):

Should I give up, (Should I?)

Or should (Keep on) I just keep,

Marley with New Directions:

Chasing pavements?

Marley (New Directions):

Even if it

Leads nowhere (Oooo...)

Initially she had been reluctant to join the group, standing off in the wings. But Blaine grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the groups formation.

Kitty was watching this from the shadows, and glanced over to see the school's new half black half Jewish rebel without a clue watching them with great interest. There was something about that club, and Kitty would need to find another way to figure out what the deal with them was.

She glanced down at that phone in her hand snd re-read the simple text message displayed on three screen:

I'm very disappointed in you. -Artie

She closed her eyes and felt ashamed.

###

Authors notes: yes those of you who pay close attention will notice that some of the stuff here has been places out of sequence from the order it was In the aired episode. This was done deliberately because it makes the story flow better and make more sense. This is especially true of the JBI scenes (how could they have been seen eating lunch with Cheerios Monday morning the first day of school?)

Also, the music is an important part of Glee, and you will see lyrics included in the stories only when they seem to make the most sense. If I included them for every song the stories would end up unimaginably large. Songs sung by people in both Lima and New York (eg New York State Of Mind) are written here as if only the Lima people are singing it because the stories take place exclusively around the Lima group: specifically Kitty and Artie. In some cases I've transcribed the lyrics myself, but in most cases I got them from the Glee wiki on .com (ffdn does not allow actual links). -WA


	3. Chapter Two: Brittany 20 (4x02)

[ Brittney 2.0 ]

*** Friday ***

It has been nearly a week (3 days) since the New Directions had chosen to sever ties with Kitty's lunch crew. She had hoped it would not come down to that, but their insistence at embracing freaks made that unavailable. She'd been hoping to have the opportunity to convenience Artie and the others the error of their ways, but there hadn't been enough time. Phil was just too observant and impatient for her own good. She knew that despite her attitude, she was at a very critical time in her rise to power, and one wrong decision could derail everything she had worked so hard for. He had maneuvered her into severing ties with the glee club before she was ready, and for that he would eventually pay. But not yet, not until her position as Head Bitch On Campus was cemented.

She would never really understand why Artie had apparently given up his position as leader to Blaine, but she had to admit she had started to like Artie, Blaine, and even Tina in the week she had spent hanging out with them. She could care less about Brittany & Sam. Joe and Sugar seriously bugged her. Apparently Sugar and Artie had dated a few times, but she was irritating and Kitty thought he could do better.

I'm very disappointed in you -Artie

The text he had sent her continued to go through her mind. When she'd first read it, her first instinct was to respond to it with something mean, but she just couldn't get herself to do it because deep down she knew he was right. She was disappointed in herself. She wished she'd been able to find a way to salvage the situation, but that didn't appear to be possible, without endangering her own social standing.

She distracted herself by focusing on Cheerleading. Once cheerleading rehearsals began Kitty wasted no time asserting herself as a prominent member of the squad by demonstrating her superior abilities. She made sure that she was always front and center where coach Sylvester could see what she was capable of doing.

Brittany S Pierce had flunked her senior year and was back again as head as head Cheerio, but this did not last very long. The first number that Britney choreographed with the Cheerios was an elaborate dance routine to the Britney Spears song Hold It Against Me. While Kitty let Britney and some of the other cheerleaders think that this was a strong elaborate, routine; secretly she knew that it was mediocre at best and in no way good enough for a National Champion squad.

Sure enough she was proven right when upon seeing it performed for the first time. coach Sylvester pronounced. "It's garbage... Garbage wrapped in skin."

Brittany was summoned into Coach Sue's office. Kitty lurked outside of coaches office door auspiciously taking care of young Robin, however her true motivation was to overhear what was going on inside. From the pieces that Kitty was able to make out, Brittany was being dismissed as had Cheerio, and from the squad altogether, because of her abysmal grade point average, and the fact that Sue could not have her setting such a poor example for the rest of the squad. Good thing I'm on that Honor Roll, she thought to herself.

Moments later a deflated Brittany walked out of the office and Coach Sue walked over to the door and saw Kitty standing there holding her daughter.

"Eavesdropping, I see," Sue said.

She was about to open her mouth and protest, when Sue cut her off and said, "Excellent. Get in here."

"Yes, Coach Sylvester," she said, and walked into the office laying young Robin down in her stroller, and standing across the desk from her as coach Sue sat down.

"What is your honest opinion of the routine the Cheerios just performed a little bit ago?" Coach Sue asked her.

"Inadequate," Kitty answered matter-of-factly

"In what way?"

Without blinking Kitty answered, being brutally honest, "The routine was repetitive and unimaginative; the execution was sloppy. About a third of the girls were half a beat off, and most of the moves could've been done better by first year gymnastics student. Oh, and the song made me want to hurl."

"That about covers it," she said. "Do you think you can do better?"

"Absolutely," Kitty said confidently.

"Good, answer," Coach Sue told her. "As I'm sure you heard, I just relieved Brittny of her position on the Cheerios and her her role as head Cheerio is now open. As of now you are the new acting head Cheerio, and I'm giving you one week to come up with a routine that will impress me. If you do, the job will be yours permanently."

"Thank you Coach Sylvester," Kitty said. "I will not let you down."

"Good," she said, glancing at the clock, "it's time for Robins four o'clock feeding."

Kitty walked over and picked up the infant, walking out of the office. She grinned as soon as her back was to the coach. Her plan was working perfectly.

*** Monday ***

At Glee practice Artie sat next to Brittany who was out of uniform. The news had traveled fast about her being unceremoniously kicked off the cheerleading squad. She was clearly depressed sitting in a slump wearing a rumpled purple T-shirt that said 'worlds best grandma', and ate bits from a container of dark chocolate candies. Her hair was unkempt and she clearly hadn't showered that day. When asked about it, she told the other glee club members that since she wasn't allowed to wear her Cheerios uniform she'd gotten that outfit out of the lost and found.

Mr. Schue walked through the choir room door and told the group, "Great News guys, Principal Figgins has asked us to perform at the annual back to school pep rally this week." Several members of the group smiled, but others were less certain. "Now I understand our national champion street credit has dropped a little bit since school started. But this is our chance to really wow them and get it back."

"What are we going to perform?" Joe wanted to know.

Artie looked over at Brittany with concern as he watched her eat candy after candy after candy. He could see Sam Evans doing the same.

"Good Question," answered. "we're a family here, and when one of our family is falling down, it's up to us to get together and pick them back up."

He walked over to the whiteboard and wrote:

Britney 2.0

"Oh my god, are we doing Britney week again?" Tina asked.

He walked over and looked right at Brittany, "You really came into your own during the last Brittany Week," he said in response. "You showed us the best of Brittany: Youth. Energy. Confidence. She inspires you, and you inspire us."

He then addressed the entire group.

"So everyone prepare a Britney song for the week, and were going to pick one to do for the pep assembly. I've asked Blaine and Artie to give us a little taste of what we're looking for."

Blaine and Artie got up in front of the group and Blaine address Britney directly, "This one's for you Britney."

Then the two of them began performing a mashup of Boys by Britney Spears and Boyfriend by Justin Bieber.

Artie:

For whatever reason,

I feel like I've been wanting you all my life

You don't understand

I'm so glad we're at the same place

At the same time

Blaine (Artie):

It's over now

I spotted you dancin'

You made all the boys stare

Those lips and your brown eyes (Oooh)

And the sexy hair

Artie (Blaine):

I should shake my thang (Uh)

Make the world want you (Hahaha)

Tell your girls you'll be back

I wanna see what you can do

Artie and Blaine with New Directions Boys:

What would it take for you to just leave with me?

Not tryin' to sound conceited but

you and me were meant to be

You're a sexy girl, I'm a nice guy

Let's turn this dance floor into our own little nasty world!

Blaine with New Directions:

If I was your boyfriend

Artie:

Sometimes a girl just needs one

Blaine with New Directions:

Keep you on my arm girl

Artie:

To love her and to hold

Blaine with New Directions:

And I can be a gentleman

Artie:

And when a girl is with one

Blaine with New Directions:

If I was your boyfriend

Artie:

Then she's in control!

Blaine with New Directions:

If I was your boyfriend

Artie:

Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don't

I could be your Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe

I don't never wanna fight yeah, you already know

Imma a make you shine bright like you're laying in the snow burr!

Blaine:

Girlfriend, girlfriend, you could be my girlfriend

You could be my girlfriend until the world ends

Make you dance do a spin and a twirl and

Voice goin' crazy on this hook (New Directions Boys: If I was your boyfriend) like a whirl wind, swaggie

Artie:

Sometimes a girl just needs one

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

Keep you on my arm girl

Artie:

To love her and to hold

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

And I can be a gentleman

Artie:

And when a girl is with one

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

If I was your boyfriend

Artie:

Then she's in control!

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

If I was your boyfriend

Blaine:

So give me a chance, 'cause you're all I need girl

Artie and Blaine with New Directions Boys:

Spend a week wit your boy I'll be calling you my girlfriend

Artie (Blaine):

If I was your man (If I was your man)

I'd never leave you girl (Girl)

Artie with New Directions Boys (Blaine):

I just want to love you, (If I was your boyfriend) and treat you right

Artie:

Sometimes a girl just needs one

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

Keep you on my arm girl

Artie:

To love her and to hold

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

And I can be a gentleman

Artie:

And when a girl is with one

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

If I was your boyfriend

Artie:

Then she's in control!

Blaine with New Directions Boys:

If I was your boyfriend

Artie and Blaine (New Direction Boys):

Na-na-na, na-na-na (Girls), na-na-na, yeah girl

Na-na-na, na-na-na (Girls)

Yeah, if I was your boyfriend.

Na-na-na, na-na-na (Girls), na-na-na eh!

Na-na-na, na-na-na (Girls)

If I was your boyfriend

Blaine:

Can't live with 'em!

Artie:

Can't live without 'em!

During the song, some of the other glee club members began to move and sang along, while Brittany just continued to eat, staring at them. Initially, she seemed indifferent to the performance, however as the song went on several other members of the new directions began to move along to the song, getting more and more into it, and by the final verse Britney herself was moving around to the beat; however she continued to eat her chocolates.

The song ended in applause, and Artie asked, "So, Brit, what'd you think?"

"I'm once again inspired by the awesomeness of Brittany," She answered. "Thanks Mr. Schue."

Artie and the others smiled.

*/*/*

That day at Cheerleading Practice, Kitty wasted no time asserting her position of leadership, as she addressed the group after Coach Sue informed the squad about the change in leadership.

"Now," she told them as she paced in front of the assembled squad. "We are going to see some changes around here. My predecessor seemed to have the attitude that doing the same old thing and doing things "good enough" was good enough for a National Champion squad. Coach Sylvester and I don't share that view. If we want to remain National Champions, then we need to push you harder than you've ever been pushed before. She and I are determined to do whatever it takes to win, and if any of you don't share that level of commitment, then you may as well leave now and make room for one of the many others just begging to get on this squad who DO have that level of commitment. "

She stopped and looked right at them, pausing for effect before asking, "anyone?"

Seeing none, she said, "Good... Wind sprints everybody."

And with that she could see new confidence from the girls, and a smile on the face of their coach. Everything was going perfectly.

*** Tuesday ***

Kitty was on her way to her third period class when Artir saw her and greeted her with a smile, "Hey Brittany."

Wait. Wasn't he supposed to be mad... Disappointed in her? Why was he being so nice?

But instead of saying any of that she answered, "Hey, Artie," and rolled her eyes when he was no longer able to see her.

*/*/*

In Glee, Artie and the others watched as Joe Tina and Sam performed the Britney song Three, as Brittany, who was now dressed more normally in a blue with black and white accented minidress and gray wrap, stared off blankly into space, arms folded. She had bathed and done her hair but still had a look of defeat about her. It made Artie so sad.

Tina with Joe and Sam:

One, two, three,

Not only you and me

Got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between

Countin' one, two, three

Peter, Paul and Mary

Getting down with 3P

Everybody loves countin'

Everybody loves countin'

Everybody loves countin'

Tina:

Babe, pick a night

To come out and play

If it's alright

What do you say?

Merrier the more

Triple fun that way

Twister on the floor

What do you say?

Joe:

Are you in?

Living in sin is the new thing,

Are you in?

Joe and Tina:

I am countin'

Tina with Joe and Sam:

One, two, three,

Not only you and me

Got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between

Countin' one, two, three

Peter, Paul and Mary

Getting down with 3P

Everybody loves countin'

One, two, three,

Not only you and me

Got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between

Countin' one, two, three

Peter, Paul and Mary

Getting down with 3P,

Everybody loves countin'

Tina:

Three is a charm

Two is not the same

I don't see the harm

So are you game?

Let's make a team

Make 'em say my name

Loving the extreme

Now are you game?

Joe (and Tina):

Are you in?

(Living in sin is the new thing,)

Are you in?

(I am countin')

Tina with Joe and Sam:

One, two, three,

Not only you and me

Got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between

Countin' one, two, three

Peter, Paul and Mary

Getting down with 3P

Everybody loves countin'

One, two, three

Not only you and me

Got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between

Countin' one, two, three

Peter, Paul and Mary

Getting down with 3P

Everybody loves countin'

Sam:

What we do is innocent

Just for fun and nothing meant

Tina:

If you don't like the company

Let's just do it you and me,

Sam:

You and me

Joe and Tina:

Or three

Or four

Sam:

On the floor (Joe: On the floor)

On the floor (Joe: On the floor)

Tina:

On the floor!

Sam:

On the floor!

Tina with Joe and Sam:

One, two, three

Not only you and me

Got 180 degrees and I'm caught in between

Countin' one, two, three

Peter, Paul and Mary

Getting down with 3P

Everybody loves countin'

Not only you and me (Tina: Oooh!)

Got 180 degrees and

I'm caught in between,

Countin'

Joe and Sam:

One, two, three (Tina: One, Two, Three)

Peter, Paul and Mary

Tina with Joe and Sam:

Getting down with 3P

Everybody loves countin'

Everyone, with the exception of Brittany, clapped and danced along throughout the performance.

Towards the end of the song, Brittany got up and walked over to the wall and pulled a hair buzzer out of her bag and plugged it into the wall outlet. Everyone watched, confused, as, Brittany raised the buzzer, about to shave her head, just as Britney Spears did it back in 2007.

Unique squealed in panic, and Mr. Schue rushed over to stop her.

"Brittany what are you doing?" Mr. Schue asked, in a panic.

"Coach Sylvester's taken away my high pony," She explained. "If I can't have my high pony I don't want any hair at all."

She moved to finish what she started and everybody yelled, "NO!" in unison.

After a few minutes of discussion, they talked her down and she finally relented.

*/*/*

After Glee practice Artie, Blaine, and Tina, along with a crowd of other students watched in horror and fascination, as Joseph Ben Israel and his cameraman attempted to ambush Brittany in the Halls.

"Brittany S Pierce, what do you say to reports that you've gone off the rails?"

"Leave me alone JBI!" she hollered, literally shoving his face out of hers.

But he was undeterred, and came back for more. "What's going on in your head right now?" he wanted to know

"Leave me alone, JBI!" She hollered again and shoved him nearly knocking over his cameraman.

"Wh-What are you thinking?" he asked.

"There's no comment," she hollered slapping him across the face

"Just talk to me!"

"Leave Me alone," she said shoving him again.

The two of them got into a shoving match in the hallway

"Are you getting this?" Jacob asked as a as a female photographer began to take pictures.

Brittany grabbed an umbrella from another student and began hitting Jacob with it knocking him to the ground hitting him over and over again.

"There's Is your camera," she hollered.

"Should we do something," Blaine wondered

"No," Tina answered. "he deserves it."

"I meant about Britney's downward spiral," Blaine said. "I think the whole singing at her thing isn't really helping."

"Probably what she misses most about the Cheerios is being in the spotlight," Artie said. "We should give her that."

A growing group of onlookers watched as Brittany continued to beat that JBI into the ground with the umbrella. Off to the side, Kitty watched and smiled.

"Leave her alone, leave Britney alone," another student cried out.

Eventually she tired of striking him and he tired of resisting so she finally got up off of his prone form and walked off.

*/*/*

That day at practice Coach Sue wasn't present, busy with other matters, and Kitty took the opportunity to begin teaching the squad the routine she had spent most of the weekend choreographing. To her surprise, they didn't suck at it. She also informed them of the new mandatory daily practices she was implementing. She wasn't letting up until they had things perfect.

*/*/*

Shortly after her image change, Kitty began looking for a token boyfriend who would help solidify her social status, and her image as a mean bitch bad girl, and she had settled on Jake Puckerman, the half black, half jewish badass. He had short black curly hair and dark skin, along with a chip on his shoulder. He was new to the school this year and so likely did not have any emotional package.

Kitty was out on the football field after practice when she glanced up at the bleachers and what did she see Little Miss Marley Rose and Jake Pacherman. She was singing and he was playing the guitar and it was very obvious from looking at them that she was smitten with him and he with her. This was something that just could not be allowed to continue.

Kitty had disliked Marley basically from the moment she met her. She was tall, sweet, auburn haired, and very naive. Kitty saw a lot of Katherine in her, and she could become a significant threat to Kitty's status if she set her mind to it. For that reason she set her mind to destroying the girl at all costs.

When he gave her his jacket Kitty was filled with rage.

*** Wednesday ***

In the choir room Britney sat in her chair staring off into space. When her attention returned to what was going on in front of her, she saw the entire glee club staring at her.

She pressed the button on her phone and said, "Kiki why's everybody in the glee club staring at me?"

"Because those fools are jealous," her phone chirped and said back to her.

"Who is Kiki?" Tina wanted to know.

"Kiki is Siri's super-smart older cousin who's really jealous of how famous Siri's gotten," Brittany answered. "She lives inside this super-cheap phone I found at the laundromat."

Everyone continued to stare at her in confusion.

"What size coffee is that?" Sam asked, breaking the silence and changing the subject.

"Kiki what size coffee and my drinking?" Brittany asked.

The phone chirped again and said, "you're drinking a settanta - 70 ounces of espresso."

"Thank you Kiki," she said

Artie and Unique shared a concerned look, while Blaine and Sam just stared.

"You're the only one I can trust," Britney told Kiki, "now that Santana's too busy."

"Brittany were worried about you," Joe told her concerned.

"We know how hard it must have felt to get kicked off the Cheerios," Blaine said. "We want to help you get back on your feet and start performing again."

"You should be the lead performer at the pep assembly on Friday," Tina suggested.

"That's great," Brittany said with a smile on her face for the first time in days, "but there's only one problem. I have to lip-synch"

"W-We don't lip-synch in Glee," Blaine told her in disbelief

"Well," Brittany said, staring at the floor, "my voice is too weak to sing live. I've been up every night this week yelling at the shrubs in my yard that have been making fun of me."

"This sounds like a terrible idea," Artie said.

"We'll record the song in advance. I'll choreograph an amazing routine without having to worry about anybody running out of breath, and Mr. Schuester will never know the difference," she informed them-

Blaine shook his head

"-Lots of performers do this now. Kristen Stewart. James Earl Jones."

Brittany pressed the button on her phone. "Kiki," she asked, speaking into her phone, "is a good idea for me to lip-synch at the pep assembly?"

That phone chirped. "It's not a good idea. It's a great idea," Kiki replied. "Can I get you another Settanta?"

She took another sip of her drink.

Artie shook his head. This wasn't going to go well, but they needed to do whatever it took to help their friend.

*** Friday ***

Kitty approached Jake in the halls.

"So I've heard people talking about us around school."

"Us?"

"Yes," she told him. "Rumor has it we're dating."

"Now where would they get that idea?"

"I started it. " she told him grinning. "I had to do something to combat that other rumor about you."

"And what rumor is that?"

"The one that you're a womanizer," she informed him matter-of-factly. "Marley and some of her friends were talking about it the other day, and I can't have that. So I told everyone in the girl's locker room that you were off limits."

"Marley wouldn't say that about me."

"Oh, but she did. She may not have wanted to believe it at first, but once they showed her that you were trolling the every girl in that school, she had no choice but to see it."

She could see that he was clearly annoyed but said, "While I appreciate your looking out for my reputation, I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread rumors of your own."

"It's only a rumor until it's true."

"And what makes you think I'd want to date you, anyway?"

"If you actually need me to answer that, then you're dumber than Brittany." She put her hand on his shoulder, leaned into his ear, and spoke seductively, "just think about it."

And with that she walked off, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

*/*/*

Kitty was just entering the cafeteria when she saw the beginning of an altercation between Jake Pickerman and Phil and Bobby. Jake apparently wanted them to apologize for something and from the looks on their faces, Marley and her mom, the fat lunch lady, were somehow involved.

When it got physical, Mr. Schuster, the Glee Club and History teacher broke it up and hauled Jake off.

Kitty just rolled her eyes.

*/*/*

Later that afternoon Kitty was on her way to the Assembly when Jake caught up with her.

"Well, I thought about it," he said.

"And?" She asked.

"And I'm in," he told her with a sigh.

"Good answer," she told him. "Don't act all depressed about it. It'll be good for both of us. Let's get together this weekend. I'll text you with deets."

*/*/*

At the pep assembly, Kitty was sitting with the Cheerios and coach Sylvester when Mr. Figgins addressed the crowd

"Quiet please children, Shh. Welcome children to McKinley High's annual fall assembly, where we gather to celebrate teen pep. Before we begin a few announcements. First and foremost I wish to address the rumor that I like to be milked like a cow because my breasts are filled with delicious wholesome milk. That rumor is untrue. And now without further ado it's time for performance of music to be enjoyed by all. "

*/*/*

Backstage at the assembly, the New Directions were dressed all in black and getting ready to perform. All, that is, except Brittany.

"Brittany," Blaine asked, "shouldn't you be stretching or warming up or something?"

But Britney just sat there eating Cheetos

"Do you need a baby wipe?" Tina asked, concerned, "you have Cheetos hands and Cheetos mouth."

"I'm fine thank you," Britney replied unconcerned, continuing to eat her Cheetos.

Tina sighed.

Definitely not going to go well, Artie thought.

*/*/*

"It is my honor to introduce McKinley High's New Directions," Principal Figgins finished.

The crowd applauded and the curtain went up revealing the glee club dressed all in black and began to sing Gimme More by Britney spears.

Brittany:

It's Brittany, bitch

I see you...

And I just want to dance with you

Hmmm...

Every time they turn the lights down

Just want to go that extra mile for you

(New Directions: You public) My display of affection

Feels like no one else in the room (but you)

We can get down like there's no one around

We keep on rockin' (we'll keep on rockin')

We keep on rockin' (keep on rockin')

Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'

They keep watching (they keep watching)

Keep watching

Feels like the crowd is saying

Brittany with New Directions (New Directions):

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Brittany:

A center of attention (do you feel good?)

Even when we're up against the wall

You've got me in a crazy position (yeah)

If you're on a mission (uh-huh)

You got my permission (oh)

We can get down like there's no one around

We keep on rockin' (keep on rockin)

We keep on rockin' (oh, are you?)

Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'

They keep watching (they keep watching)

Feels like the crowd is saying

Brittany with New Directions (New Directions):

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Gimme (More)

Gimme, gimme (More)

Brittany:

I just can't control myself, oh

They want more? Well, I'll give them more, ow!

New Directions (Brittany):

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more (Gimme more)

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more (Oh oh)

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme, gimme more (Gimme more, yeah)

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more

Brittany:

Uhhh, give me more, give me more

Give me more, give me more baby

I just want more!

New Directions (Brittany):

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more (Gimme more)

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more (Oh oh)

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more

Gimme, gimme more (Gimme more, yeah)

Gimme more

Gimme, gimme more

The whole school watched in the stands. Brittany was holding a large bottle of orange pop and drinking from it. Kitty watched carefully, with a suspicious look on her face.

She was paying special attention to her former rival, Brittany, and Artie (who mysteriously continued to greet her by name when he saw her in the halls even after the peace between the cheerleaders and glee club was over, and she had mostly stopped responding to him). Much of the performance Britney was singing too and dancing around arty in his wheelchair much to his obvious discomfort.

There was something familiar about the performance, but she could not quite put her finger on it. Throughout the performance, Brittany forgot moves, stepped in the wrong direction, and her lips were out of sync with the song, and was eating Cheetos throughout. Something very familiar. Then Brittany started falling,

Then it finally occurred to her. The performance was reminiscent of Britney Spears' controversial MTV Awards performance of the song back in 2007, where she lip-synced and wore the same outfit Britney was wearing here.

Without hesitation, Kitty rose to her feet, pointed, and shouted out, "THEY'RE LIP-SYNCHING!"

Unique then attempted to grab the food and drink from Brittany, but Brittany then threw cheetos around the stage; when the crowd erupted into a small riot and New Directions were booed off the stage.

Kitty watched in satisfaction as Sam and Blaine quickly covered the stage with the curtain.

*/*/*

A few minutes later, Artie sat with the rest of the glee club as Mr. Schue berated them,

"In the 58 year history of the McKinley High School Glee Club, there has never been such a debacle! We do not lip-synch ever!

"Sorry Mr. Schue," Blaine said. "we were just trying to help Britney out."

"Lip-synching is the equivalent of blood doping in professional sports. Every gain we've made in the last three years has been wiped out. And I'm not just talking about a reputation here at McKinley." He gestured to the rest of the school building for emphasis. "If the National Show Choir Board of Review gets wind of this, we could be barred from competing."

He turned to Brittany and asked, "What do you have to say for yourself Britney?"

"To quote the legend herself 'if I met me I would say quick hello and then think I was a really nice girl' "

She rose through feet and said, "and I resign from glee club effective immediately."

And with that she walked out the door.

Artie and the others just sat there dumbfounded.

*/*/*

That day after school at cheerleading practice, Kitty showed coach Sue the routine she had devised to the theme of U.G.L.Y. By Daphne and Celeste.

C) Ok! I'm a cheerleader now!

[Chorus]

(D&C) u.g.l.y.

You ain't got no alibi you ugly

Eh! Hey! You ugly x4

(C) I saw you walking down the street just the other day

(C) I didn't see your damage from that far away

(C) I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming

(C) You walked up to me with your buckteeth a gleaming

(C) Your hair was all frizzy and your face was a mess

(C) I thought it was a sack but it's your favourite dress

(C) You hurt the tree's feelings and the birds all flew

(C) I don't mean to insult you

(C) Oh wait! Yes I do.

(D) Your teeth are yellow, they're covered in mould

(D) You're only fourteen you look a hundred years old

(C) When looks were handed out you were last in line

(C) Your face looks like where the sun don't shine

(D) Did you fall off a building and land on your head?

(D) Or did a truck run over your face instead

(C) There ain't no pill cos you ain't ill

(D&C) you're ugly!

(D&C) U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x2

(D) What you really need is to wear a mask

(D) And book that plastic surgeon fast - (girl)

(C) You're scary - you're hairy I heard about you

(C) You're the main attraction at the city zoo

(D) You're so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab

(D) When you wear a yellow coat people shout out cab

(C) (So funny)

(D) You got eyes like a pig and your nose is big

(D) And with hair like that you should be wearing a wig

(C) Uncle Fester, remember him? I never knew that you had a twin

(D) You can't disguise your googly eyes

(D) In the miss ugly pageant you win first prize

(C) Yo mama says you ugly -

(D&C) you ugly!

(D&C) U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x2

(D) Get busy x9

(C) Yo mama says your ugly

(D) Get busy

(C) Yo mama says your ugly

(D) Get busy

(C) Yo mama says your ugly

(D) Get busy (D&C) your ugly!

(D&C) u.u.u.u.

(D) Now I feel like Blondie

(D&C) U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x2

(D) Quasimodo

(C) Camel breathe

(D) Squarehead

(D&C) ugly!

(C) Chicken legs

(D) Pig face

(C) Chin like bubba

(D&C) ugly!

(D) Fish lips

(C) Toad licker

(D) Poindexter

(D&C) ugly!

(C) Spaghetti arms

(D) Limp butt

(D&C) freak show -ugly!

(D&C) U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x1

(D&C) U.G.L.Y- (C) you could make an onion cry

(D&C) U.G.L.Y- (D) like an alien chased by the F.B.I.

(D&C) U.G.L.Y you

U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly!

The routine was fresh and precise. There were just enough fancy moves to impress, without coming off flashy and gimmicky. The song itself presented the same attitude that both Sue and Kitty had. That squad had performed it well, and in that end Coach Sue simply stated, "Outstanding."

Kitty smiled and knew she had won the top spot permanently.

*** Saturday ***

Saturday morning, Kitty texted Jake and that evening they went to the early showing of a movie. She chose the early showing to maximize the possibility that they would be seen, and sure enough the theater was full, but unfortunately Marley Rose wasn't one of the attendees. She would have to find another way to break the news to Miss Itty-Bitty.

*** Monday ***

A few days later Kitty was outside of Coach Sylvester's office when Britney once again went to see her. From the bits and pieces of the conversation that she was able to make out Britney had managed to improve her grades with a little help from Mr. Shuster and Ms. Pillsbury.

And she was welcomed back onto the Cheerios, however coach Sylvester was impressed enough with Kitty's routine that she retained the leadership of the squad.

Kitty found out later that the whole thing was a ploy to hit bottom so she could rise from that ashes like the mythological phoenix. Kitty rolled her eyes.

*/*/*

That day on her way to lunch, Kitty ran into Artie as she entered the cafeteria.

"Hey, Kitty," he greeted her.

Why the hell was he still so nice to her for? She thought.

"Well if it isn't crippy-lip-synch," she retorted.

"We were just trying to help Brittany, which I'm sure you already knew," he told her.

"Maybe so," she retorted, laughing. "But it was definitely the wrong way to so do it."

After a moment, she added, quietly, "And now it's my turn to be disappointed in you."

And with that she was gone, and he just sat there realizing that she was right.

*/*/*

Torturing Marley Rose was becoming a new hobby of Kitty's. It was becoming more and more fun, especially when it became apparent that she was into Jake. Kitty decided to use every opportunity to flaunt their relationship in front of Marley, and make it clear that Jake was hers, and Marley could not have him.

After lunch, Kitty was exchanging books at her locker when she saw Jake approach Markey's locker.

"Uh, you think I could sit next to you in Glee Club? I don't know anybody else."

Markey Smiled "So you're going to join? I didn't realize I had that powerful an effect on you?"

"It wasn't you….well it helped...I just … (sigh)..I don't know, get these feelings sometimes to punch someone, or steal a cop car, or kiss someone, and I hear Glee Club might help them go away…. even though it totally sucks balls."

"I promise (laughing), it's not that bad. Just stick with me, and I'll help you get through it."

"It's nice to have a friend looking out for me."

"Well, I owe you for what you did for my mom…. Oh, I just realized I'm still wearing your jacket."

"It looks pretty good on you.-"

Kitty could not take it anymore and chose that moment to interrupt, "-I bet it looks better on me."

Marley got a confused look on her face..

"We're dating now. Didn't Jake tell you?"

"No he didn't," Markey responded crestfallen.

"Well, uh, it's not really my style to put a label on things."

"You two make a great couple," Marley said taking him off the hook.

She handed the jacket to Kitty who put it on

"Bye." She said sadly, trying to hold her emotions in check. Kitty smiled triumphantly.

And with that she walked away leaving Jake alone with Kitty. Kitty faced Jake with a satisfied smile on her face.

"Don't you agree it looks good on me?" When he didn't answer right away, she changed the subject. "I so why on earth would you want to join glee club, when you can have this?" Kitty asked him, gesturing to her body.

"I think you heard my explanation. I don't expect you to understand it, but please accept it. "

He took off toward his next class.

"For now, Puckerman," she uttered under her breath, "for now."

She would have to fight that battle another day.

*/*/*

Later that day, at a Glee rehearsal Brittany was back, complete with high pony an Cheerio uniform.

Artie watched as Jake was being lead into the choir room by Mr. Schue. He noticed that Marley was sitting in her chair reviewing some notes when she heard Mr. Schue talking. She looked up and saw Jake, a sad look still on her face. He wondered what was going on.

"Okay," Mr. Schue said, addressing the group, "let's give a big New Directions welcome to Jake Puckerman."

Jake meet Marleys eyes and Sam came up and put his hand on Jake's shoulder saying, "Hey, dude. Um, me and your bro were best friends." Jake turned to face him. "Is it weird that I know him a lot better than you?" Jake wasn't sure what to say.

"Welcome, bro," Joe Hart added. "God made you, and God doesn't make mistakes." He smiled and walked off.

Jake looked around and found a place to sit down.

"Mr Schuster?" Marley asked.

"Yeah, Marley?"

"If it's alright I'd like to sing one last Brittany song."

"Did that come out this morning?" Artie asked. " 'Cause we've scraped the bottom of that Britney barrel."

"Not exactly. This is one of my favorite sings."

She stepped up front, sat on a stool and began to sing, Everytime

Marley:

Notice me

Take my hand

Why are we

Strangers when

Our love is strong

Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, it's haunting me

I guess I need you baby

I make believe

That you are here

It's the only way

I see clear

What have I done

You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain

Please forgive me

My weakness caused you pain

And this song is my sorry

Ohhhh

At night I pray

That soon your face

Will fade away

And everytime I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you baby

As she sung, Artie noticed that Jake watched her with an upset expression - he knew that Marley is singing this because she was upset that he was dating Kitty. He felt bad, but hated to get involved in drama so he decided to ignore his feelings for now.

*/*/*

Before Cheerio practice, Kitty approached Jake who was out on the football field playing with his guitar, and teased him about serenading a girl he wasn't even dating. How was she supposed to feel about that.

In response he began to pluck away at his guitar and sang a song just for her.

Marley watched this from a far, but halfway through the song she couldn't take it anymore, and ran off to cry somewhere private.

###

Okay everybody, sorry for taking so long for this update. I treat each chapter as an episode which has to stand on its own in addition to fitting with the overall story, so it takes longer. Add to that the fact that I keep getting inspired to write parts of later chapters lol. You know the drill, please, review and subscribe so you know when new chapters come out.


	4. Chapter Three: The Makeover (4x03)

[ The Makeover ]

Authors Notes: while Kitty didn't actually appear in this episode, dramatically there is really no reason for her not to be around. They paid Jacob Artist (Jake), and Melissa Bellisont (Marley) to just sit there during the assembly, why not Becca Tobin (Kitty)? So, anyway, this chapter will focus on what Artie is doing and have some original material for Kitty, as if she was actually there, including a whole new subplot.

########.

*** Monday Morning ***

Artie was wheeling down the hall at WMHS when he ran into Blaine, who was in a good mood, with a smile on his face and a spring in his step.

"Hi Blaine, what's going on?" He asked his friend.

"Hi, Artie, I've come to a decision, I told myself, 'All right, Blaine Anderson, time to change things up. Last year, it was all about letting the seniors shine. But this year it's your turn.'

"So I've joined like 23 different clubs to fill my days now that Kurt's in New York. We talk and Skype and text as much as possible, but the only time we're really in sync is when we're hate-watching Treme together. I just feel like I need something more of make me feel like I've made a difference in this place."

"Okay," Artie said, still waiting for an explanation of his friend's good mood.

Blaine began to walk down the hall, and began to sing as Artie rolled after him.

Blaine sings: Everybody Wants To Rule The World:

Welcome to your life

There's no turning back

Even while we sleep

We will find you

Acting on your best behavior

Turn your back on mother nature

Everybody wants to rule the world

It's my own design

It's my own remorse

Help me to decide

Help me make the most

Of freedom and of pleasure

Nothing ever lasts forever

Everybody wants to rule the world

There's a room where the light won't find you

Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

When they do I'll be right behind you

So glad we've almost made it

So sad they had to fade it

Everybody wants to rule the world

I can't stand this indecision

Married with a lack of vision

Everybody wants to rule the world

Say that you'll never never never never need it

One headline why believe it ?

Everybody wants to rule the world

All for freedom and for pleasure

Nothing ever lasts forever

Everybody wants to rule the world

As the song finished the music stopped and Brittany walked up to therm and asked, "What do you think you're doing, Blaine Warbler?"

"I'm running for president," he answered with a smile.

Brittany just stood there with a 'deer in headlights' look on her face.

"Oh, This is going to end well," Artie mumbled.

*/*/*

Kitty smiled as she got off the yellow school bus for what she hoped would be one of the last times. This Friday, September 21, 2012 was going to be her 16th birthday! She'd taken Drivers' ED that summer and was practiced enough that she and her dad were confident that she'd pass her road test with flying colors. She had an appointment scheduled for Friday after school, and the family had a 5:30 reservation at BreadstiX. After that, she'd be whisked off to the field to lead her Cheerios in cheering at the football game.

So far her year was going great! She was super popular, Captain of the Cheerios, and finally had a boyfriend. She'd taken him to his first high school football game the previous Friday and made sure that he and her squad had known that her birthday was coming up. She was expecting them to do something special for her at lunch that day.

Life was good!

*/*/*

Later that morning, Artie was at his locker exchanging books when Brittany approached him discreetly.

"Psst, Artie, can I talk to you for a second?" She asked.

"Yes," he answerer, not bothering to look up.

She stepped up in front of him.

"Okay, so I'm running for senior class president again, and I want you to be my VP. Being Vice Presidential pick of McKinley High's first two-term president would look really good on your college resume."

He looked up at her and answered, beginning to roll down the hall to his next class. "I have a 4.0 GPA, and I scored a 210 on my practice SAT, and I was the only handi-capable member of a national championship glee club.

"I'm not really worried about getting into college," he assured her confidentiality.

But this did not dissuade her. "I know how people like you are afraid of the spotlight sometimes, but did you know that Franklin Roosevelt was part robot, too, - and he's on Mount Rushmore? -"

"- No, he isn't. And I'm just going to say it again, I'm not part robot -," he remind her, stopping to face her.

"- I realize That I didn't do much as president last year, and if you help me win again this year, I promise to do exactly the same thing, which means I'll be president, and you can make all the boring decisions."

This piqued his interest.

"So I could be Cheney to your Bush," he concluded.

"I'd rather be landing strip," she told him, not getting the reference.

"I mean," he continued, "it's no secret that a woman loves a man in power, and don't take this personally, but before I graduate, I would like to have a relationship that lasts longer than a couple weeks."

"Why would I take that personally?"

"- You and I dated," He reminded her.

"- We did?" She clearly didn't remember.

"Look," he told her, pretending that it didn't bother him that she did not remember dating him and taking his virginity two years before, "you've got yourself a deal."

He reached out and shook her hand.

"Cool."

*/*/*

Later in glee club Mr. Schue addressed the group.

"Okay, as you all know, as national champions we get to host the annual Show Choir Rules Committee meeting."

"Please tell me you're gonna ask what 1/3 vintage meant last year? " Tina said.

"Or like, why some teams get to sing six songs and other ones only do one? " Sam wanted to know.

Suddenly everyone started asking questions or commenting all at once.

"Speaking of competitions," Jake interrupted over the chaos, "shouldn't we start like, preparing for ours?"

Everyone stopped talking and looked at their teacher who just sat there as they stared at him..

"I have some ideas which I am working on ... very hard... Um ... I don't really want to give anything away right now, but I can assure you that as soon as I come up with what I feel is the right idea, I will let you know. I expect that to be very soon."

Artie looked round the room at all the blank faces. Clearly he was not the only one who didn't believe him. Artie had long suspected that even when Mr. Schue acted like he had a plan, it was something that he came up with no more than an hour before, if not less. Sometimes right on the spot. Not that he was worried, it seemed to be working for them so far. After all, it had only taken them there years to become national champions. Glee club hadn't even made it past sectionals after Mr. Schue's teacher Mrs. Adler had passed away in 1997 until Mr. Schue took the reigns.

Artie was brought back to the present when Brittany raised her hand.

" - Yes, go ahead," Mr. Schue told her, clearly happy to get the focus of attention on something besides himself.

"- Excuse me, I'm not sure if what You were saying was actually important 'cause I wasn't listening, but I'd like to make an announcement."

She stood up and moved so she was standing in front of the class before continuing, "First, I'd like to know if anyone can prove that Blaine was actually born in this country. Second, I'm wrapping up the election by selecting Artie as my running mate."

"Ah! Alright." Mr. Schue said, applauding.

The rest of the room also began to applaud, and Artie smiled broadly. Sugar, who was sitting next to him, seemed particularly excited. Sam, on the other hand, just sat there staring off into space.

"I think by bridging the human-slash-robot divide, we'll ensure that both students and vending machines will be voting for us."

"- Still not a robot," Artie mumbled.

"- Brittany, that's not fair," Blaine challenged. "This isn't a popularity contest, it's about who's got the best ideas. It's about believing you can make a change, right?"

"Ohhh!"

"What is that taste in my...?" Artie chimed in, playfully, licking his fingers for emphasis. "Is that sour grape? Brittany."

The bell rang and everyone filed out of the classroom.

Artie and Brittany walked off together to plan their campaign. Sam just sat there, lost in thought.

*/*/*

Later that morning Sugar approached Attire in the hallway and said, "Artie, wait up!"

He slowed down to allow her to catch up.

"I never knew you had political aspirations?" She told him with a broad smile.

"I never really gave it much thought until Brittany approached me," he said. "But when she suggested I'd be able to take an active role in making the legacy of her second term more than the dinosaur theme prom her first one had, I really couldn't say no."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, "That's so noble of you. If there is anything I can do to help...?"

"Well now that you mention it," he told her, "several of us are getting together after school to make and put up campaign posters. If you'd like to join us, I can text you the deets?"

"That would bring be great!" She said.

*/*/*

Across the hall, Kitty was changing out books at her locker and saw Artie and Sugar in her peripheral vision and overheard most of their conversation. She mimicked sugar and rolled her eyes. One of the positives of not having lunch with the glee group anymore was that she didn't have to deal with that irritating woman. What Artie saw in her was beyond her.

So Artie was running for student office? Interesting, she thought.

*/*/*

Brittany was walking down the hall toward where Artie and Sugar were talking when Sam approached her

"Hey, why didn't you ask me to be your running mate?" Sam asked her. "I'm like the perfect candidate."

She turned to face him, clearly surprised by the question.

"Well, I didn't want it to ruin our friendship. I mean, look at Sarah Palin. She and her grandfather, they were super close, and then he asked her to be his running mate, and they lost, and now they're not even speaking. But I do think you'd be a great vice president, so I'm going to help you out. Come here."

She lead Sam over to where Blaine was standing by his locker.

"Blaine Warbler? I'd like to introduce you to Sam Evans."

"Um," Blaine told her, wondering what was going on, "we've actually met several times."

"He's your candidate for vice president," she told him matter of factly.

"Uh, no. I'm picking my own running mate." He told her.

But Sam chimed in to sell his case, "My family's on food stamps, so that will get you the sympathy vote. I'm not gay, so that'll help with the not-gay vote, and you know, I don't want to brag, but (imitates George W.) My impressions are hilarious 100% of the time." Blaine just stood there taking it in.

"It's George Bush, come on."

Blaine was beginning to warm to the idea.

"Okay, sure." The two men shook hands.

"Awesome," Brittany said. "First order of business, Artie and I challenge you and Sam to a debate."

"You're on," Blaine answered.

Sam leaned in and whispered, "What's a debate?" In Blaine's ear.

Artie watched all of this from across the hall and smiled.

*** Tuesday ***

During Glee rehearsal, Artie sat in his usual spot in the front row. Mr. Schu still hadn't announced a plan for sectionals (in other words he still hasn't figured it out himself), so rather than have the focus of the week be on his indecision, he had declared this to be free sing week.

Marley had volunteered to go first. She got up and sang Boys With Girlfriends by Meiko.

When I first met you I knew you were the one

Till you took me home and I met her

She had your boxers on

And she was listening to your song

And I thought right then that you had everything

But I knew

She was jealous from the start

Yeah, I knew

She was jealous from the start

'Cause I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends

Oh I know better than that, I know better

You play the victim and I'll be the bad guy

I know better than that, I know better

(oh oh oh oh oh oh X 2)

We started hanging around after 9

I could've sworn that I was yours

You looked at me and said

Its a little too late for bed

We went to hotel and

Talked about everything

But I knew

She was jealous from the start

Yeah, I knew

She was jealous from the start

'Cause I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends

Oh I know better than that, I know better

You play the victim and I'll be the bad guy

I know better than that, I know better

(oh)

'Cause what she did to us was tragic

Oh oh oh

And I had to do what's right

Oh oh oh

What we had was really magic

Oh oh oh

But I have to get what's mine

What's mine

I'll get what's mine

And you'll get yours

'Cause I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends

Oh I know better than that, I know better

You play the victim and I'll be the bad guy

I know better than that, I know better

(oh)

'Cause I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends

Oh I know better than that, I know better

You play the victim and I'll be the bad guy

I know better than that, I know better

(oh)

During the entire song, she was glancing at their other newest member, Jake Puckerman. The two of them had been having a hard time keeping their eyes off of each other ever since he joined New Directions. That was confusing given the word in the halls that he was dating head cheerleader Kitty Wilde. Artie felt a pain of regret at the thought of Kitty. He'd really hoped they could be friends, but the fact that her place in the social hierarchy made that problematic at best, and she was no longer willing to try.

Judging by the song, Marley was getting frustrated being in the middle between he and the woman who made it her hobby to torture her.

*/*/*

Kitty sat at the computer in the Cheerios conference room adjacent to coach Sue's office. She was putting the finishing touches on the flier for the club she was starting the following week. She needed to get it don't by the end of the day to get it sent to the printer's. Coach Sue's daughter Robin napped quietly next to her.

She saved the file and emailed it off. Checking the time on her phone she saw that it was another twenty minutes until Jake would be done with glee club. For the life of her Kitty didn't see what her boyfriend saw in that geek club. Yeah he liked to sing and could play guitar, but why didn't he start a boy band like a normal person?

She sighed.

She had a feeling that it had something to do with the presence of a certain Marley Rose. She saw how he looked at her, and while she may have isolated herself at the top of the social pyramid, she still heard the rumors that when he wasn't with Kitty, he was with her. She was going to have to cure him do that.

Twenty minutes later she walked down the hall toward Jake's locker and sure enough he and Marley were headed that way. As they approached her, Kitty gave Marley an evil glare, and she excused herself saying, "I'll see you tomorrow, think about what I said."

He nodded, and she walked off.

"What was that about?" Kitty demanded.

"Nice to see you too," he told her. "Yeah I've been having a good day. Thanks for asking," he added sarcastically.

"Don't change the subject on me!" She demanded. "What does little miss priss want you to think about?"

"That's between she and I," he told her.

She placed her hand on his shoulder pressing him against the lockers, and gave him a dirty glare. "Boyfriends and girlfriends aren't supposed to have secrets from each other."

"Well," he signed, "if you really must know, she was telling me how hard it is trying to be friends with a guy who has a girlfriend as possessive as you are."

"You have me. You don't need any other girl friends," she told him.

"Yes I do, Kitty," he told her, pushing himself free of her. "Among other things you're not in glee club, and she's my only real friend in there."

He walked over of his locker and changed out his books. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll see you at lunch," he said and headed to his next class.

Kitty groaned in anger as the bell rang.

*** Wednesday ***

Artie rolled down the hall towards Brittany, who was at her locker.

"Brittany, I just got a copy of Jacob Ben Israel's latest presidential poll."

"Mm-hmm"

"The good news is 90% of respondents said they're planning on attending Friday's debate."

"That's cool." She said. Then she saw the look on his face. "So what's the bad news?"

"90% of those who responded...they were coming to hear you say something st stu -"

"They think I'm going to say something stupid," she finished, crestfallen. She turned and walked down the hall, and he rolled with her.

"But, see, you're not stupid. You're really creative. Your brain exists in this magical other dimension where anything is possible. It's really amazing. We just need to focus on a little preparation."

*/*/*

When he saw the same poll information, Blaine was concerned that picking Sam as a running mate was a desperate grab for the straight vote, and his regular use of celebrity impressions would be more of a hindrance than a strength, because like Britney many respondents we're expecting him to say something stupid. They would need to respond with preparation so that he came off as a more serious candidate.

*/*/*

That afternoon, In an empty conference room, Artie helped Brittany practice for the debate. While, in another room, Blaine and Sam also rehearsed

"Brittany S. Pierce, how do you react to the characterization of your first term in office as one in which you didn't do anything at all until prom?" Artie asked.

"I would describe that as entirely accurate," She responded.

"Okay," he told her; not happy with the a answer, but not wanting to dwell on it.

"Test scores at McKinley have gone down six percent every year for the past decade. - What would you do to fix the problem?" Blaine asked Sam.

"- Stop giving tests,," Sam answered. "They're hard, and there's way too many of them.

"What is your favorite color? " Artie asked.

"Filipino," Brittany answered. "They're very hard workers, and family is very important to them."

"You know what? Let's talk wardrobe. In politics, you can never underestimate a first impression."

*/*/*

That day at lunch, Kitty and Jake sat with the popular group as usual. She decided not to broach the subject of Marley and instead talked about her birthday on a Friday, reminding them all that she would be busy after school with her test, dinner with her parents and the game, but that she'd be available on late Friday night or Saturday to celebrate. No one really said much, in fact they barely seemed to be paying attention, which she took to mean that they wanted to surprise her with their plans, which sounded good of her. After all, a girl only turns 16 once.

*** Thursday ***

Artie sat in the front row of glee club waiting for class to start. Today was his turn to sing. He glanced at the door, and he saw people enter. Jake and Marley entered together, still acting to the casual observer like they were a lot more than just friends. He started to wonder if Kitty knew about this, but was sidetracked when he saw Sugar come in. She smiled and sat down next to him.

"How's my favorite political candidate?"

"Great," he told her. "Thanks so much for your help with the campaign! I'm really starting to feel confident of our chances."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled. So far things were going better than he'd hoped.

Just then, Mr. Schue called the group together.

"Alright," their teacher said, "I believe is starting us off."

Artie rolled up in front of the group and begs to sing, I Can Hear Music by The Beach Boys.

Ahhhhhh oooooo

This is the way

I always dreamed it would be

The way that it is, oh oh

When you are holding me

I never had a love of my own

Maybe that's why when we're all alone

I can hear music

I can hear music

The sound of the city baby seems to disappear

Oh-oh and, I can hear music

Sweet sweet music

Whenever you touch me baby

Whenever you're near

Lovin' you

It keeps me satisfied

And I can't explain, oh no

The way I'm feeling inside

You look at me we kiss and then

I close my eyes and here it comes again

I can hear music

I can hear music

The sound of the city baby seems to disappear

Oh-oh and, I can hear music

Sweet sweet music

Whenever you touch me baby

Whenever you're near

I hear the music all the time, yeah

I hear the music, hold me tight now baby

I hear the music all the time

I hear the music

I hear the music (baby)

Ahhhhh

I can hear music

I can hear music

The sound of the city baby seems to disappear

Oh-oh and, I can hear music

Sweet sweet music

Whenever you touch me baby

Whenever you're near

The room cheered!

*/*/*

At the pre-election assembly in the auditorium, Sue stood behind the podium in the center. To either side of her were podiums for the two candidates. The room was decorated in election banners and other decor.

"Attention, miniscule segment of the student body, " she addressed the mostly empty room. "Principal Figgins is out this week, with what he describes as religious fever. And I am forced to moderate these proceedings."

Back stage, the candidates were getting ready for their introductions.

"Hey, dude, uh, now that you made me over, - can I give you some advice?" Sam, who was now wearing a suit, asked Blaine.

" - Yeah, sure."

"- Lose the bow tie."

"- What?"

"Yeah, trust me, it makes you look uptight and a little like a young Orville Redenbacher." Blaine looked at him in disbelief. "Just take it off," Sam assured him.

"Okay," Blaine answered reluctantly removing the tie.

Then he looked at himself in the mirror. ,"You know what? Actually, it's you're actually right."

"- Thank you."

*/*/*

Back in the auditorium, Sue continued, "- There are two new utterly disheartening wrinkles to this year's absolutely pointless contest. First, the horrifying fact that this year's slate of candidates consists entirely of Glee Club members. And secondly, the inexplicable introduction of a vice presidential field for no discernable reason whatsoever."

"Separation of powers! Whoo!" Stoner Bret stood up and cheered.

"So," Sue continued, "let's meet these second-tiered losers. You know them as the pimp and the gimp. Artie Abrams and Sam Evans.

"Stumbles, my first question is for you. Who, in God's name, gives a hot, wet, steamy dump about student government?"

"I do," he answered confidently. "And I think everyone in this room should, too. First of all, student government isn't just a way for us to pad our college résumés. It's a way for us to take an active role in our own education. Study after study shows that an active student body is a successful student body."

When He paused for a moment, thinking or hoping he was done, Sue said, "Okay, moving on."

But he wasn't done, and continued, "Student government is just the beginning. We need more after-school programs, and better-qualified staff to support our teachers, who are overworked and underpaid.-"

"- Oh, dear God," Sue bemoaned.

"- And that's just the beginning. I want to talk about the cafeteria, 'cause I believe at the beginning of every year to see if enough to support our brain activity ..." Artie to drone on for 32 minutes, until he finally concluded with, "That's one of the many goals I promise to reach by the midway point of my first term, as outlined in my 96-point Pierce-Abrams Road map To Restore McKinley's Future."

"Merciful sweet Jesus, thank you, " Sue said, relieved that he was finally done.

"Sam Evans, your response?"

"I wasn't really listening. Whatever Artie said, I agree with that."

Offstage, Blaine mouthed his disapproval to Sam.

"Our next question is from the Twitter," Sue told them." HungrySouthMouth asks Sam Evans, "Rumor has it you were a stripper. Aren't you ashamed?"

Sam exhaled deeply before responding.

"No," he answered simply, "I'm not."

The room was silent.

"In fact, " he continued as music began to play and he removed his top, revealing his chiseled physique, and began to dance.

" - Whoo!" The crowd cheered.

Artie just sat there in disbelief, not understanding why Sue let the spectacle continue.

After Sam had finished his dance and put his clothes back on, the Presidential candidates had their say.

"Students at this school have every right to be angry," Blaine addressed the crowd. "Last year's student council, led by my opponent, was the most ineffectual in a generation. Brittany , in her last term, accomplished absolutely nothing, except plan a dinosaur-themed prom and ban the use of hair gel. Ladies and gentlemen, telling anyone what they can or cannot put into their hair is disgusting. It's the first step towards tyranny, my friends. Next thing you know, they'll start burning books. And then they'll probably start burning people, too."

"That's a lie," Brittany said.

"This tyranny all ends today, McKinley," Blaine finished. "I want to offer you a change. And I am that change. Let's make history, Titans. And vote Anderson-Evans. Thank you."

"Sweet, simple Brittany," a relieved Sue addressed her, "What say you?

"Uh," she began, reassured by a smile from Artie. "I love you. I love you so much, McKinley High School. Simple as that. In fact I think that everyone should love this school as much as I do. If you elect me as president, I promise to outlaw summer vacation, so we'll have school all year round. That means we'll spend every day of every summer indoors with all our friends, in McKinley High School's award-winning air conditioning.

"Also, I promise to end McKinley High School's policy of having weekends. If you make me your president, Saturday and Sunday will be illegal, so that Monday will come right after Friday, which is the funnest day anyways. Vote Brittany and Artie. Thank you so much."

Stoner Bret got up and left, shaking his head.

Looking around the room, Artie could see that the crowd wasn't happy with this at all.

"We just lost the election," he mumbled exasperatedly.

*/*/*

Kitty watched the spectacle from the shadows of the balcony. She glanced down and saw her boyfriend and Marley watching the debate far too close to each other in the front row and was filled with rage. She hadn't expected to see him there, let alone with Mike and Molly's daughter. Didn't they see each other enough in glee club? She'd heard the rumors in the halls about them, but seeing the evidence herself made it more real. She couldn't allow this to continue.

She wasn't even really sure why she was there herself. Morbid curiosity she guessed. Student government was only a rung or two above glee club in the social hierarchy.

*** Friday ***

The election happened Friday during homeroom, and as usual there was low voter turnout.

*/*/*

That day at lunch, Kitty walked into the cafeteria with a smile on her face. She couldn't wait to see what surprise her friends had for her birthday. At first glance it appeared to be an average day. No banners, balloons, or signs. No sign of a card or presents. Maybe the surprise would happen later.

She began to make idle chitchat with her friends about how their day was going, and whatnot. When Jake joined them at her invitation, he also acted like it was an ordinary day.

"Isn't there something that you all want to say to me?" She hinted.

"Did you change your hair?" Bobby Surette asked.

She was wearing the same high ponytail as she always did at school.

"Do you have any fun weekend plans, or plans for after the game?" Suzanne asked.

"Yeah, are we going out tomorrow?" Jake asked.

"Yeah," she told him, "maybe you could take me out to celebrate?"

"Yeah," he told her, "if the team manages to win for once!"

She exhaled deeply, frustrated about not getting the answer she wanted.

She sat there sulking for another twenty minutes, dropping a few more hints, but as the lunch period came to a close, it she finally let it sink in:

They forgot my freaking birthday! She thought, bitterly.

*/*/*

Friday afternoon, after the results had been tallied, Sue sat in her office ready to announce the winner over the PA. Becky Jackson played the xylophone chime as usual, introducing Sue, who silenced the instrument with her hand.

"Attention, students: Your record-low election votes have been tallied, and we have a winner," she began. "Becky, can I get a xylophone flourish? No? Not feeling it? Okay.

"This year's Student Council President is ...

*/*/*

Artie was sitting next to Sugar in Mr. Schue's History class. They looked at each other with a mixture of excitement and trepidation as the winner was announced.

"Blaine Anderson!"

Artie was crestfallen. Sugar put her hand on his shoulder in support, and gave him a hug. He knew it was going to be a long shot after the reaction of the crowd at the debate assembly, but he'd held out hope till the end that cooler heads had prevailed.

But no. They wanted the guy with the hair gel obsession and the stripper.

*/*/*

Kitty was sitting in English class when the announcement came through. She listened intently while pretending to be aloof. Most of her classmates cheered the fact that the stripper had won, but Kitty felt bad for Artie.

*/*/*

After school, Kitty's parents picked her up rather than wait for her to get home on the bus.

"How was your day, sweetie?" Her mom asked. "Did your friends do anything special?"

"No," she answered bitterly, "no one remembered. Not even Jake!"

"That can't be right," her dad chimed in. "They must be waiting to do something at the game."

"No," she told him, clearly upset, "I gave them every opportunity to say something ... They just forgot."

Her mom gave her a hug, which felt good.

She held the embrace for several minute and her dad placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to show support.

When Kitty felt the familiar flush in her face that normally preceded crying, she decided to change the subject.

"Let's get out of here. I don't want my inferiors to see me hugging my parents, and I don't want to be late for my test. I want to get some last minute practice."

"Good idea," her dad told her, and handed her the keys.

*/*/*

After school, Artie was gathering his books to take home for for weekend when Sugar approached him.

"Artie," she said in her usual tone which made you wonder if she is being genuine of talking down to you. "I'm so sorry about the election."

"It's okay Sugar," he answered flatly, "I'm used of it. I'll lived."

"Well I was wondering if it might cheer you up if we went horseback riding this weekend?"

Artie had been trying of get her out on a date for months, ever since his competition for her affections, Rory Flanagan, had lost his student visa and gone back to Ireland. But he had to make sure.

"You mean on a date?"

"Of course, silly," she told him and kissed his cheek.

Yes! Finally, he thought.

*/*/*

As expected Kitty passed her test with flying colors once she put the disappointment of the day behind her and focused on that. She posed for a photo with her parents in front of the car holding her temporary license as a bystander took it for them.

To celebrate she and her parents headed to BreadstiX for a celebratory dinner. They were just arriving when she spotted Artie rolling his way up the walkway.

"Hi Kitty," he said, stopping to greet her as they approached him in the lobby.

"Give me a minute," she told her parents who hung back as she walked up to him.

"Hey," she responded, gageing her parents response to seeing her talk to him. He was wearing his letterman jacket so it should be alright. "Sorry about the election."

"It's okay," he told her. "I'm sure Blaine will do a good job too. I'm here for his victory party. I'm guessing you are too?"

"No," she told him. "Dinner with my parents."

"Oh, that reminds me," he said, reaching into his pocket handing her an envelope with her name on it. "Happy Birthday! Did you pass your test! That was today, right?"

"What's this?" She asked, confused.

"It's a birthday card, silly," he told her. "I didn't see you at school today, so I was hoping to see you here to give it to you."

"Um, thanks," she responded with a half smile.

"Is there something wrong? It is your birthday right? I was sure you told me it was September 21."

"It is," she told him. "I just didn't expect you to remember, that's all. Thank you. And yes I passed my test." She pulled out the temporary license to show him.

"Congrats girl!" He told her, smiling. "Well I gotta to congratulate Blaine."

She nodded and watched him go.

"Who was that?" Her mom asked.

"Artie Abrams," she answered.

"What did he want?" Her dad asked, with a concerned look on her face.

"He just wanted to wish me a happy birthday," she told him.

"That was nice of him," her mom told her.

"A senior. What sport does he play?" Her dad asked.

"I think he played football as a sophomore." She told him leading them inside.

"And he's in a wheelchair now? Talk about taking one for the team!" her dad concluded.

"No, he was in a car accident when he was 8 years old,"

They reached the hostess podium and were escorted to their table.

They busied themselves with their menus and ordering their food, and Kitty hoped her dad had dropped the subject.

But once they had ordered and the menus were taken away. He was back at his game of 20 Questions.

"How did he play football if he couldn't walk?

"I don't know the details dad, but apparently they wheeled him down the field."

"Is that legal?"

"I don't know, Dad. It must've been. I don't really know-. "

"But...?"

"Look, Dad, I barely know him," she told him.

"If he's not on the football team anymore, how do you know him?" her dad wanted to know.

"You know him well enough for him to know and remember your birthday," her mom chimed in.

"Look," she told them, exasperated, "he's in glee club, alright! He's one of the ones who were in my lunch crew for the first week and a half of school before we kicked them out. I don't know why he's still talking to me. Can we change the subject now?"

After a few moments of silence their orders came and they finished their dinner with more casual conversation, but Kitty could tell this wasn't going to be the end of the subject.

*/*/*

At Blaine and Sam's victory celebration in the other part of the BreadstiX building, the crowd cheered, confetti was everywhere. A banner read "Congratulations, Blam! Let Freedom SING!"

Blaine and Sam raised their hands, clasped in victory.

Sugar and Tina stood up in front with them and Sugar shouted, "Make some noise! We know him!"

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Blaine told the crowd.

Blaine got a hug from Marley.

"Great job!" She told him.

"How do you do? How you doing?" He addressed a couple more classmates, shaking their hands, as he descended the stage.

He approached Artie, who greeted him cordially.

"Congratulations, Mr. President, " he shook his hand.

"Thank you, Artie."

"Losing the bow tie, that was your game changer- kudos."

"No hard feelings. Maybe I can find a place for you in my administration."

"No, thanks;" he told his friend. "I got what I needed. Sugar asked me out on a date." he glanced over where Sugar was standing. "She invited me horseback riding. I'm just hoping it doesn't involve being towed. - You talk to Kurt? -

"Uh, yeah, yeah. He was super proud of me and he's really excited. He's already planning a whole inaugural ball."

"Well, congratulations," Artie excused himself to go join Sugar.

"Thanks," Blaine said and slapped him on the shoulder as he left.

Over his shoulder Artie saw Sam and Blaine sit down at the same booth and begin to talk.

*/*/*

After dinner Kitty dropped her parents off at home, quickly changed into her Cheerios uniform and went to the game. Jake joined her there and watched from the stands.

The Cheerios did their best to cheer the team on and rhile the crowd, but the team just sucked and the crowd didn't have much to get excited about, and as usual the Titans lost the game.

And as she expected, no one said a word about her birthday...

*/*/*

When Kitty got home from the game that evening she went straight to her room and stripped out of her sweaty uniform and prepared to take a shower. She stopped when she glanced at the unopened birthday card she'd left on her bed in her rush to get ready for the game.

She sat down and open it up. It was a plain white card with red writing and illustrations of a cheerleading bull horn and Pom poms. On the outside it said "Hey! Hey! Hey! I Hear It's Your 16th Birthday Today!"

On the inside it said: "Hope it's an amazing one!" In pre-printed letters. On the inside cover there was a handwritten note from Artie that read:

Kitty,

Since I doubt I'm going to be invited to whatever festivities you have planned for your birthday, I just wanted to drop you a quick note to wish you a happy one, and good luck on your drivers test. I'm sorry our social circumstances have prevented us from becoming better friends, sometimes being in high school sucks!

- Artie

She re-read the note through twice and once again felt the familiar flush in her face that preceded crying.

Why did he have to be so nice?! She thought.

As her eyes began to water she grabbed her phone and began to type out a message and wipe away the first few tears.

*/*/*

Artie lay in bed later that night when his phone buzzed with a text message. He picked it up and saw that it was from Kitty:

Artie, thank you so much for the card! I'm sorry if I came off scattered today. I just really wasn't expecting it, but I'm flattered you remembered. You didn't miss much, as far as my birthday goes, since no one else at school remembered it, not even my supposed boyfriend. Yes, sometimes high school sucks. I wish things were different too. -Kitty

Artie lay there in bed re-reading her text. She seemed really lonely. Wow, he didn't see that coming! He resolved to continue trying to be her friend to the degree possible.

######

Okay everyone, you should know the drill by now. Read, subscribe, favorite (if you are so inclined), and most of all REVIEW! It's the reviews that motivate me to write more chapters. I'm kind of discouraged that I haven't gotten any reviews of chapter 2 yet , and it's been posted like a month.

I know there hasn't been much Kitty and Artie interaction these first few chapters, but I've tried to add more where it seemed to fit. This will become much easier after she joins the musical cast and glee in another couple chapters.


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